A team of British lawyers has now concluded that the Declaration of Independence was illegal, and the American colonies had no right to secede from England. Well, you thought our court system was backed up. Jay Leno More Quotes by Jay Leno More Quotes From Jay Leno According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be just the top 1 percent. Jay Leno halloween usa thinking You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. Jay Leno funny-thanksgiving thanksgiving too-much A new study says that working fewer hours can slow global warming. So you know what that means? President Obama's economic policy is also his climate change policy. Jay Leno climate president mean In Chicago some anti-Mitt Romney protesters told reporters they're being paid to protest. They said they're being paid by Democrats to stand outside and chant anti-Romney slogans. Well, who says President Obama isn't creating any new jobs? Jay Leno new-job creating jobs Donald Trump says he’s President Obama’s worst nightmare. That’s not true. Having to make a decision is Obama’s worst nightmare. Jay Leno worst-nightmares decision president Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England". Jay Leno thanksgiving fun long You know, something like 90 people who have now filed to run for governor in this recall election. They say there could be as many as 200 people on the ballot. You know, it's really easy to run here in California. All you need is like a couple of signatures, not many, thirty-five hundred bucks, you're on the ballot, like that. I mean, what does it say about California? We have stricter requirements to get on 'American Idol' than we do to run for governor. Jay Leno couple running mean Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ... and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser. Jay Leno influence said today I'm glad the government has shut down. Think about it, for the first time in years it's safe to talk on the phone and send emails without anybody listening in. Jay Leno phones government thinking President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner played golf this weekend. Obama’s handicap is Joe Biden. Jay Leno weekend house golf Casey Anthony was found not guilty. This means that President Obama’s economic team is only the second-most clueless group in America. Jay Leno clueless team mean Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn’t like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas and Bill Clinton. Jay Leno marijuana weed funny America needs ObamaCare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. Jay Leno obamacare halloween america President Obama released his tax returns. It turns out he made $900,000 less in 2011 then he did in 2010. You know what that means? Even Obama is doing worse under President Obama. Jay Leno return president mean For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza! Jay Leno average america people President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything. Jay Leno lunch white house Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought stock in it.' Only a Republican would think the best part of Viagra is the fact that you could make money off of it. Jay Leno humorous kings thinking President Obama announced this week that he is going to start sending out his own messages personally on Twitter. And today Anthony Weiner said, “It’s a trap, don’t do it!” But President Obama’s tweets are a little different than Anthony Weiner’s. When Obama sends out pictures of something obscene, it’s the unemployment numbers. Jay Leno different president numbers Contact with the customer is what business is all about. Jay Leno contact customers Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances. Jay Leno true-friend friendship book
