A team of British lawyers has now concluded that the Declaration of Independence was illegal, and the American colonies had no right to secede from England. Well, you thought our court system was backed up. Jay Leno More Quotes by Jay Leno More Quotes From Jay Leno These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how bad it's gotten. Jay Leno white house people In an interview with Univision, President Obama said if there's one thing he's learned, it's that you can't change Washington from within. So what is he saying - that if we want real change, we should throw him out? Jay Leno real president want Ambition beats genius 99% of the time Jay Leno beats genius ambition Ashcroft went on to say that our way of life is being threatened by a group of radical religious fanatics who are armed and dangerous. And then he called for prayers in the schools and an end to gun control. Jay Leno religious prayer school The White House is now urging Americans not to 'read too much' into last week's jobs report. In fact, they said it would be best if you didn't read it at all. Jay Leno white house jobs President Obama is coming under criticism now for not meeting with his jobs council. He hasn't met with his jobs council in over six months. You know the reason Obama hasn't met with his job council in six months? They're all out looking for jobs. Jay Leno criticism president jobs We live in what's called an open society, which of course means they open our emails, open our phone records, and open our medical records. Jay Leno email phones mean Scientists in Australia are working on making biodegradable car parts out of hemp. This might get confusing. When someone says, roll up the window, they might mean, roll up the window! Jay Leno car australia mean According to a new geographic literacy study 4 out of 10 American students couldn't find Iraq on a map. However 10 out of 10 Mexicans could find the U.S. without a map. Jay Leno maps iraq students As you may have heard, former President Bill Clinton says he's coming here to California to help Governor Gray Davis in his recall election campaign. Which is ironic, isn't it? When Clinton was president, he couldn't recall anything. Jay Leno ironic california president President Obama admitted this week that a former girlfriend that he wrote about in his autobiography was made up and not a real person . . . So Obama had an imaginary girlfriend. Big deal! He had an imaginary economic plan. It’s all the same. Jay Leno girlfriend real president According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars. Jay Leno funny-relationship eye liars If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. Jay Leno political-wisdom voting funny This problem with illegal immigration is nothing new. In fact, the Indians had a special name for it. They called it "white people." Jay Leno names white people According to The New York Times, more than half of President Obama's Twitter followers are fake. They don't even exist. Which is actually a good thing because if they did exist there wouldn't be any jobs for them. Jay Leno fake new-york jobs Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS. Jay Leno fools-day trying people The White House begun airing their TV commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry campaign is condemning his use of 9/11 in the ads. He said, it is unconscionable to use the tragic memory of a war in order to get elected, unless of course, it's the Vietnam War. Jay Leno memories war order I've lost some weight. I am on that new Obama diet. Every day I let Vladimir Putin eat my lunch. Jay Leno putin lunch weight Financial experts are saying we are entering a new chapter in the American economy. I believe it's Chapter 11. Jay Leno entering experts believe According to federal reports filed yesterday, the Obama campaign spent more money than they raised in the month of May. They spent more money than they raised? Well, that's called being a Democrat Jay Leno campaigns yesterday may
