A vile beastly rottenheaded foolbegotten brazenthroated pernicous piggish screaming, tearing, roaring, perplexing, splitmecrackle crashmecriggle insane ass of a woman is practising howling below-stairs with a brute of a singingmaster so horribly, that my head is nearly off.

Edward Lear

Categorized in : Insane Music Roaring

There was an old man with a beard, who said: 'It is just as I feared! Two owls and a hen, four larks and a wren have all built their nests in my beard.

Edward Lear

justice men two

It's a fact the whole world knows,

Edward Lear

toes facts world

I am almost thanking God that I was never educated, for it seems to me that 999 of those who are so, expensively and laboriously, have lost all before they arrive at my age-& remain like Swift's Stulbruggs-cut and dry for life, making no use of their earlier-gained treasures:-whereas, I seem to be on the threshold of knowledge.

Edward Lear

cutting science knowledge

It takes a long time to make a painter - even with a good artist's education - but without one it tries the patience of Job; it is a great thing if one does not go backward.

Edward Lear

artist jobs long

They danced by the light of the moon.

Edward Lear

dance light moon

The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat: They took some honey, and plenty of money Wrapped up in a five-pound note. . . They dined on mince and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon, The moon, The moon, They danced by the light of the moon.

Edward Lear

light moon beautiful

I am in a very unsettled condition, as the oyster said when they poured melted butter all over his back.

Edward Lear

conditions oysters said

There was an Old Man of Messina, Whose daughter was named Opsibeena; She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig, To the perfect delight of Messina.

Edward Lear

daughter pigs men

They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon.

Edward Lear

dance moon food

They went to sea in a sieve, they did; In a sieve they went to sea; In spite of all their friends could say.

Edward Lear

spite sea friendship

And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner, But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?

Edward Lear

teeth eyelashes growing

There was an Old Person of Brussels, Who lived upon Brandy and Mussels; When he rushed through the town, he knocked most people down, Which distressed all the people of Brussels.

Edward Lear

towns alcohol people

In the middle of the woods Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. Two old chairs and half a candle, One old jug without a handle- These were all the worldly goods.

Edward Lear

jugs life two

When awful darkness and silence reign Over the great Gromboolian plain, Through the long, long wintry nights.

Edward Lear

silence night long

Who, or why, or which, or what, Is the Akhond of Swat?

Edward Lear

news

And if you voz to see my roziz As is a boon to all men's noziz, - You'd fall upon your back and scream - '" Lawk! O criky! it's a dream!"

Edward Lear

dream men fall

And they brought an Owl, and a useful Cart, And a pound of Rice, and a CranberryTart, And a hive of silvery Bees. And they brought a Pig, and some green Jack-daws, And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws, and forty Bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree, And no end of Stilton Cheese.

Edward Lear

lovely owl pigs

There was a Young Lady of Poole, Whose soup was excessively cool; So she put it to boil, by the aid of some oil, That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.

Edward Lear

oil soup food

I was much distressed by next door people who had twin babies & played the violin: but one of the twins died, & the other has eaten the fiddle — so all is peace.

Edward Lear

doors baby people

There was an old man of Orleans, Who was given to eating of beans; Till once out of sport, he swallowed a quart, That dyspeptic old man of Orleans.

Edward Lear

vegetables sports men