After I perform 'My Girlfriend's Boyfriend,' it takes a lot out of me emotionally; and, at the end of it, I feel like I know the audience and the audience knows me. It's this weird unspoken bond that we'll kind of always have with each other. Mike Birbiglia More Quotes by Mike Birbiglia More Quotes From Mike Birbiglia I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching. Mike Birbiglia passionate want feels I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time. Mike Birbiglia humor baby funny I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time. Mike Birbiglia humor baby funny I got an E-Trade account. Turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week. Sure, I had to pay some fees. Mike Birbiglia humor pay funny I like films that are so funny, dramatic and lifelike simultaneously, that you are laughing and cringing simultaneously all throughout the film. Mike Birbiglia dramatic film laughing My writing process is very feedback-based. When I do stand-up, I listen to the audience. I try to understand what's connecting, what's not connecting, and then rewrite, rewrite and rewrite. Mike Birbiglia feedback writing trying You need to know what doesn't work to know what works. It's especially true in improv and stand-up. Mike Birbiglia working-it knows needs My problem with being in New York City is that you really can't make a living as a comedian. You can, but you have to also take writing jobs, which means less stage time. Mike Birbiglia new-york jobs mean A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.' Mike Birbiglia girl humor funny They really cut to the chase in the urologist's examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R. Mike Birbiglia cutting humor funny I take the subway four times a day, or close to it. I just love the subway! My grandfather worked as an electrician when they were digging the subway. Mike Birbiglia digging four grandfather My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian. Mike Birbiglia italian humor funny Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying..." Mike Birbiglia humor funny america I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No... got any Snapple?' Mike Birbiglia humor men funny I think serious situations actually make for the best kind of belly laughs. But theyre also the hardest to convert into comedy at the outset. Mike Birbiglia serious laughing thinking Essentially, retweets are like laughs. Mike Birbiglia retweet laughing The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion. Mike Birbiglia comedy opinion art Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy. Mike Birbiglia awkwardness comedy feelings I think spending a lot of time with my mom, who's a talker and a storyteller, and my dad, who has kind of a soft-spoken, understated sense of humor, I think that's how I became what I am, which is sort of an understated storyteller. Mike Birbiglia dad mom thinking The people who are the worst at news, who kind of engage in what I call the World Wrestling of news, have kind of set the bar for where news is. Mike Birbiglia bars wrestling people