Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last night's Democratic debate. Jay Leno More Quotes by Jay Leno More Quotes From Jay Leno Marriage is grand. Divorce is about twenty grand. Jay Leno after-divorce divorce twenties You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. Jay Leno mother inspirational children Did you hear that we're writing Iraq's new Constitution? Jay Leno usa iraq writing The difference between Men and Women is that Men love The 3 Stooges, and Women think they're assholes. Jay Leno differences men thinking British scientists say they have developed a super broccoli that can help fight heart disease. You know, if you want to fight heart disease, why don't you come up with a food people will actually eat? Like a super glazed doughnut. Jay Leno fighting heart people I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?' Jay Leno mcdonalds girl food If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology. Jay Leno boulevard apology hollywood Racecar driving is a lot like sex; all men think they're good at it. Jay Leno men sex thinking In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court ruled President Obama's healthcare mandate is constitutional. This is a major victory for President Obama, who spent three years promoting it, and a major setback for Mitt Romney, who spent three years creating it. Jay Leno creating decision years Senator Kerry recovering very nicely after having shoulder surgery. The doctors said the senator was fully awake, lucid and joking after the surgery was done, but cautioned that that was just the drug. He went back to his boring self soon afterward. Jay Leno doctors drug self Wasn't it thrilling when the U.S. Women's team took home the gold in gymnastics? A group of American teenagers getting a higher score than Chinese kids? That never happens. Jay Leno teenager team funny In an unlikely pairing, Hillary Clinton made an appearance this week with Newt Gingrich to push a health care plan. The press is making a big deal out this thing with Newt but, hey, if anyone knows how to appear in public with a man she can't stand, it's Hillary. Jay Leno hey care men Today, President Barack Obama promised to 'detect and pursue' American tax evaders, as opposed to his first 100 days, in which he detected and nominated American tax evaders. Jay Leno president today firsts Republican Congressman Pete Hoekstra has charged the Bush administration with keeping programs secret from Congress. Somehow no one from Congress reads the New York Times, I guess. Jay Leno administration new-york secret The Democratic Leadership Council has named Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton to design a plan to help define an agenda to the Democratic party. Although Bill said today, in his experience, whenever Hillary enters the picture that's when the party ends Jay Leno agendas design party According to the Mayans, the world is supposed to end in the year 2012. Are you buying that? When's the last time you even ran into a Mayan? Jay Leno lasts world years I'm not a person who carries my emotions on my sleeve. Jay Leno sleeves emotion persons Nissan is designing a car that will read the driver's mind. I already know what I'm going to do. I want a car that will read the other guy's mind. Jay Leno car design guy If President Obama really wants to hurt the Syrian government, don't send cruise missiles. He should send over some of his economic advisers. Jay Leno government president hurt As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil. It's about gasoline. Jay Leno oil fun war
