All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way. Adam Carolla More Quotes by Adam Carolla More Quotes From Adam Carolla Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average. Adam Carolla batting delusional average Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way. Adam Carolla hollywood leaving thinking There are certain things women are better at than men. Adam Carolla certain men Life is just the time between crapping yourself. Adam Carolla life-is When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person. Adam Carolla partners missing television People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on. Adam Carolla realistic dream people I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist. Adam Carolla sexist realist I get depressed at airports. Adam Carolla airports I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy. Adam Carolla valleys guy blue I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road. Adam Carolla humor funny two I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating. Adam Carolla nice humor funny All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle. Adam Carolla humor want funny I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that. Adam Carolla humor funny two I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it. Adam Carolla crazy lonely funny The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. Adam Carolla chicks reason reason-why I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food. Adam Carolla sorry giving night Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor. Adam Carolla vigor passion office It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge. Adam Carolla challenges morning water I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show. Adam Carolla cat enough people I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses. I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like - there is a lot of artistic freedom with it. Adam Carolla artistic my-favorite different