And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up. Woody Allen More Quotes by Woody Allen More Quotes From Woody Allen You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. "Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office?" All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless. Woody Allen girl baseball school When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject. Woody Allen doctors subjects mistake Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships. Woody Allen men people thinking When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane. Woody Allen dog mother baby You can't work at a relationship; you can't control it. You have to be lucky and go through your life. If you are not lucky you have to be prepared for some degree of suffering. That's why most relationships are very difficult and have some degree of pain. People stay together because of inertia, they don't have the energy. Because they are frightened of being lonely, or they have children. Woody Allen pain lonely children The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. Woody Allen liberty love sex Spencer was searching for a woman interested in gold, inorganic chemistry, outdoor sex and the music of Bach. In short, he was looking for himself, only female. Woody Allen female gold sex I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it. Woody Allen dying would-be mind I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you. Woody Allen crazy believe reality It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on? Woody Allen lying reality people Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. Woody Allen hell beats speak I can levitate birds. No one cares. Woody Allen humorous witty bird I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night. Woody Allen night sex people Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them. Woody Allen tenderness sense-of-humor important There's something about my films; they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not. Woody Allen nuance film names Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words. Woody Allen hilarious humor funny Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. Woody Allen humor life funny I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. Woody Allen parenting humor funny I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today. Woody Allen same-mistakes mistake today I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly. Woody Allen distraction sitting home
