Apparently the only thing worse than a terrorist attack, is a gay man stopping it! Jon Stewart More Quotes by Jon Stewart More Quotes From Jon Stewart If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot. Jon Stewart arms guy want The real focus at first is to just become a good stand-up comedian, and then when you get to a certain level, then they allow you to do other things. You feel if you're overwhelmed by something or if you're not. Jon Stewart comedian focus real I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles. Jon Stewart missiles fire teacher High school. You know, people say, 'I'll never do so-and-so again' - then they do it. So what? Sometimes somebody has crack, and you're looking to stay awake. Jon Stewart cracks people school Every generation has their challenge. And things change rapidly, and life gets better in an instant. Jon Stewart get-better change challenges In case you're wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you're all wearing at home. Jon Stewart advertising wonder home We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics. Jon Stewart ethics fake opportunity That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling. Jon Stewart comedian feelings years Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science. Jon Stewart cold democracy made I'm not trying to be modest of self-deprecating or in any way trying to do that. Jon Stewart self trying way I think it's just about the machine is about reporting the news, and then reporting the news about the news, and then having those moments where they sit around and go, "Are we reporting the news correctly? I think we are." And then they go back to the and the cycle just sort of continues. Jon Stewart machines news thinking The frustration of our [The Daily] show is- very much outside any parameters of the media or the government. We don't have access to these people, we don't have access. We don't go to dinners we don't have cocktail parties. We don't you know, you've seen what happens when one of us ends up at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, it doesn't end well. Jon Stewart frustration party government [CNN, USA Today] they've got 24 hours to fill. You know, how many times can Anna Nicole Smith's baby get a new father? Jon Stewart usa baby father Stephen Colbert is also then turned into news. Jon Stewart news I don't think politics is any longer about a conversation with the country. Jon Stewart conversation country thinking I think that's why they're so really - here's the disconnect. It's sort of this odd and I've always had this problem with the rationality of it. That the President [George W.Bush] says, "We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come. "And, so what I'm going to do is you know, Iraq has to be won, or our way of life ends, and our children and our children's children all suffer. So, what I'm gonna do is send 10,000 more troops to Baghdad." Jon Stewart fighting children thinking In my head, thought, I would love to do an interview where it's just sort of de-constructed - the talking points of Iraq - sort of the idea of, is this really the conversation we're having about this war? That if we don't defeat Al Qaeda in Iraq, they'll follow us home? That to support the troops means not to question that the surge could work. That, what we're really seeing in Iraq is not a terrible war, but in fact, just the media's portrayal of it. Jon Stewart home war mean I'm also interviewing a guy who's just written a book about his experience living in Iraq, faced with the type of violence as he said, an unimaginable scale. And I think that the combination of that is very hard to shake. Jon Stewart iraq book thinking The government is just you know, blowing the doors off the media. And not everywhere, and I think, this is where you know, a lot of those blog reporters and all of those things are bringing a lot of urgency and a lot of momentum to stories that wouldn't normally carry any momentum. Jon Stewart media doors thinking The conversation that the Senate and the House are having with the President [Barack Obama] was very similar to the conversation that [John] McCain and I were having, which was two people talking over each other and nobody really addressing the underlying issues of what kind of country do we want to be. Jon Stewart talking two country