“As a sleuth you are poor. You couldn’t detect a bass-drum in a t... by P. G. Wodehouse

“As a sleuth you are poor. You couldn’t detect a bass-drum in a telephone-booth.”

P. G. Wodehouse

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I always advise people never to give advice. by P. G. Wodehouse

I always advise people never to give advice.

P. G. Wodehouse
humorousinspirationalpeople

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

P. G. Wodehouse
realgivingpeople
There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mu... by P. G. Wodehouse

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

P. G. Wodehouse
readingbeautifulfriendship

Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.

P. G. Wodehouse
fatteningillegalfun

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.

P. G. Wodehouse
melancholydepressionmen

Always get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothing puts the reader off more than a big slab of prose at the start.

P. G. Wodehouse
slabsspeedbigs
Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through. by P. G. Wodehouse

Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.

P. G. Wodehouse
sobermotto
Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirr... by P. G. Wodehouse

Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.

P. G. Wodehouse
poorsoupmind
An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away. by P. G. Wodehouse

An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.

P. G. Wodehouse
doctorshumorfunny

I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.

P. G. Wodehouse
sweetnessstrivelight

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

P. G. Wodehouse
humoroussportsdeath
There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers ma... by P. G. Wodehouse

There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'" "The mood will pass, sir.

P. G. Wodehouse
jeevesmomentsmatter

It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.

P. G. Wodehouse
huntinghumorousideas
The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number... by P. G. Wodehouse

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

P. G. Wodehouse
wrong-numbervoicehumorous

Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thousand little codfish, cheerfully resolves to love them all, the British aristocracy is apt to look with a somewhat jaundiced eye on its younger sons.

P. G. Wodehouse
parenteyeson
One of the drawbacks to life is that it contains moments when one... by P. G. Wodehouse

One of the drawbacks to life is that it contains moments when one is compelled to tell the truth.

P. G. Wodehouse
telling-the-truthmomentslife-is

As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.

P. G. Wodehouse
wellspopsmight

One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation.

P. G. Wodehouse
agenamesmind

It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.

P. G. Wodehouse
irondemandcircumstances

A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.

P. G. Wodehouse
humorousdarklife