Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually. Lenny Bruce More Quotes by Lenny Bruce More Quotes From Lenny Bruce Every tribe needs a good front man to sell the program. Who better to convince the Middle East to give up the oil, than a brown man with a Muslim name? Lenny Bruce giving-up names men If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't taper off. You've got to quit, cold jerky! Lenny Bruce quitting cold ifs Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to? Lenny Bruce nice loneliness sleep If there was absolute freedom, people would run over babies and charge admission. Lenny Bruce running baby people If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer. Lenny Bruce faults body lying Now a Jew, in the dictionary, is one who is descended from the ancient tribes of Judea, or one who is regarded as descended from that tribe. That's what it says in the dictionary; but you and I know what a Jew is - One Who Killed Our Lord. And although there should be a statute of limitations for that crime, it seems that those who neither have the actions nor the gait of Christians, pagan or not, will bust us out, unrelenting dues, for another deuce. Lenny Bruce deuces tribes christian Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it. Lenny Bruce space country people If I just stuck to pot I might have found out what a drag being an aging hipster actually was. Lenny Bruce hipster aging might I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do. Lenny Bruce boredom hate funny In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls. Lenny Bruce halls lawyer justice Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it. Lenny Bruce sarcasm time thinking I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money. Lenny Bruce scams gigs miami The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter. Lenny Bruce daughter guy mother My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic. Lenny Bruce challenges trying men I am influenced by every second of my waking hour. Lenny Bruce every-second waking hours If you believe there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that's dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer. Lenny Bruce believe lying dirty Today's comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an act and he told the audience, This is my act. Today's comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he's telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week. Lenny Bruce comedian next-week lying Life is a four-letter word. Lenny Bruce four life-is letters Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally. Lenny Bruce comedian groups needs Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's goyish. B'nai B'rith is goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. Lenny Bruce catholic cities new-york
