Children are the most honest critics. They will say "You're funny", but also "You're pathetic - go away."

Dylan Moran

Categorized in : Children Going Away Honest

I find it incredibly boring when people are mean about some individuals, especially if the individual has no power. I can understand how someone deems it necessary if somebody is in power to tear them down - I think that's really crucial. I make a lot of mean jokes about myself; as a theme, suffering seems to me a very interesting thing for comedy, but not the suffering of a particular individual.

mean people thinking

Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspici... by Dylan Moran

Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.

soup want firsts

Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could... by Dylan Moran

Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?!

humor dream funny

I grew up in a house where there was lots of teasing and language play and laughter; it was very important. When I was a teenager, you wouldn't go to a bar and find lots of televisions everywhere. People were talking. Talk was the mental fire you would gather around in the evening. It occupied a big part of your existence.

teenager laughter fire

Love in all its forms is very difficult ... to express. It changes, obviously. If you’re young, and you’re romantically in love with somebody, and often if you’ve just met somebody, its crazy! It’s completely overwhelming. You can’t think of anything else. You just want to climb inside the other person and live under their pancreas. And then it mellows, somewhat... to the point where you can barely look at them... without feeling a mild distaste

crazy change thinking

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. by Dylan Moran

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect.

squirrels humor funny

I'm a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It's amazing... by Dylan Moran

I'm a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It's amazing I'm here at all.

humor funny long

And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to be the sort of people who haven't done that well with everybody else.

humor funny jesus

A lot of the fiction I read growing up was post-war American, and not all of it centers on Manhattan, but around people of the Mad Men generation, people like John Cheever and, in more modern times, Don DeLillo, who I always mention.

growing-up men war

I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.

just-being people interesting

Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house.

talking goodbye giving

You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.

wheels humor funny

I'm very drawn to Eastern Europe, so I like a Hungarian writer who wrote in French called Emil Cioran; he was always good for giving me such a stir.

eastern europe giving

It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.

writing funny book

Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… an... by Dylan Moran

Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures.

humor men funny

I need a healthy injection of cynicism right now. by Dylan Moran

I need a healthy injection of cynicism right now.

cynicism healthy needs

What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.

morning funny children

Fruit... it's just God showing off. "Look at all the colours I kn... by Dylan Moran

Fruit... it's just God showing off. "Look at all the colours I know!"

humor funny looks

Vodka is a very deceptive drink, because you drink it and you think, "What is this? This is pointless! It's - you can't taste it, you can't smell it... Why did we waste our money on this, bloody - why are we on a traffic island?"

smell drink taste

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?

humor lakes funny