Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win. Jacob M. Appel More Quotes by Jacob M. Appel More Quotes From Jacob M. Appel The cold, cruel reality is that with one current justice now approaching ninety, and four others over seventy, the day will inevitably arrive when a sitting justice lies in an intensive care unit, both unable to resign and unable to resume his or her duties. Jacob M. Appel justice lying reality While the visible victims may draw the headlines and attract indignant protests from so-called "pro-life" organizations, the invisible victims are people like you and me who will suffer from diseases that are never cured because funds are being poured down a healthcare sieve in order to maintain permanently-unconscious bodies on complex and costly forms of life support. Jacob M. Appel organization order people Money spent on vegetative patients is money not spent on preventive care, such as flu shots and mammograms. Each night in an ICU bed for such patients is a night that another patient with a genuine prognosis for recovery is denied such high-end care. Every dollar exhausted on patients who will never wake up again is a dollar not devoted to finding a cure for cancer. Jacob M. Appel recovery cancer night Much as constitutional guarantees of press freedom do little good for prospective publishers if they do not have access to paper or ink, the right to aid in dying is strikingly useless if nobody is willing to help. Jacob M. Appel ink dying guarantees There is a fundamental difference, however, between asking to be permitted to keep a vegetative relative on costly machinery, and asking the taxpayers or society as a whole to pay for such machinery. Jacob M. Appel differences asking fundamentals Victory [over homophobia] may require five or maybe 20 years. Yet I have no doubt that "don't ask, don't tell" and same-sex adoption bans will be as unspeakable and inexplicable to my grandchildren as counting a slave as three-fifths of a human being. Jacob M. Appel grandchildren sex years I would prefer to believe that a market in fetal organs would empower women to use their reproductive capabilities to their own economic advantage. Jacob M. Appel empowering use believe Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding the one person with whom you share the same internal chronometer. Jacob M. Appel finding-the-one keys people Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner. Jacob M. Appel spices partners sex Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy. Jacob M. Appel nasty life-is easy This is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to the chest, but with an empty room, a crisp white bed, silence. Jacob M. Appel empty-rooms electric-shock white Patriotism is being convinced your country is better because you were born in it. Jacob M. Appel convinced born country Never make enemies of anyone younger or healthier than you are. They write your history. Jacob M. Appel writing enemy Know your load. That's rule numero uno in this business, which is why I make them count the penguins out in front of me one at a time. I'm not going to be the schmuck who shows up in Orlando twobirds short of a dinner party....I know I'm pulling out of Houston with exactly forty-two Gentoo penguins, seventeen Jamaican land iguanas, four tuataras from New Zealand, and a pair of rare, civet-like mammals called linsangs. No more, no less. Jacob M. Appel party land two Always warm up the audience with a joke....If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke. Jacob M. Appel audience jokes persons Depression and hopelessness are not the only reasons terminally ill patients wish to end their lives. Many individuals see nothing undignified about choosing to end their lives at the time and manner of their choosing - and many view such a choice as the meaningful culmination of a good life. Jacob M. Appel good-life views meaningful The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop. Jacob M. Appel persuading difficult sex
