Cider was my drink because I liked the taste and it made me stupid. Frank Skinner More Quotes by Frank Skinner More Quotes From Frank Skinner A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by it's own farts Frank Skinner intelligent dog funny You can spend your whole life trying to be popular, but at the end of the day, the size of the crowd at your funeral will be largely dictated by the weather. Frank Skinner funeral weather life I honestly thought my marriage would work because me and the wife did share a sense of humour. We had to really, because she didn't have one. Frank Skinner funny-relationship wife share So, Arsenal have signed Arsene Wenger because his name sounds a bit like the club. How long before Man Utd sign Stefan Kuntz? Frank Skinner football soccer men How do I relax? This might sound slightly ridiculous but I play the ukulele for at least an hour a day and I find something really blissful about it. Frank Skinner ukulele relax play Professional footballers - those virile young stags of our modern culture - are near perpetual fountains of sputum. Frank Skinner fountain modern culture We're always hearing about risk-takers whose risks paid off, but they are no braver than those whose risks end in ridicule. Frank Skinner risk bravery courage I'm world-famous in West Bromwich. Frank Skinner world-famous west world