Daddy, when he drank, just became sweeter. There wasn't a mean thought in his body. I've always said he was like a drunk Jimmy Stewart. Carol Burnett More Quotes by Carol Burnett More Quotes From Carol Burnett Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk? Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. Carol Burnett healthy over-you baby Comedy = tragedy + time. Carol Burnett comedy tragedy But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh. Carol Burnett noses laughing people Because nobody goes through life without a scar. Carol Burnett scar inspire life I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me. Carol Burnett girl mom mother I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned. Carol Burnett adversity work-out wrestling The audience is never wrong. Carol Burnett audience television I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that. Carol Burnett writing ideas moving I liked myself better when I wasnt me. Carol Burnett I think we're here for each other. Carol Burnett life thinking I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. Carol Burnett jokes my-soul soul Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. Carol Burnett pimples teenage inspirational The first time someone said, 'What are your measurements?' I answered, '37, 24, 38 - but not necessarily in that order.' Carol Burnett measurement funny order I don't remember a time when I wasn't waiting for a scab either to grow or to fall off my knee. Carol Burnett knees waiting fall I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances. Carol Burnett bergdorf-goodman gun circumstances People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows. Carol Burnett dinner women people I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love. Carol Burnett first-love writing firsts I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that. Carol Burnett able memories people I always preferred working with somebody so I could look into their eyeballs and play tennis. Carol Burnett tennis play looks I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry. Carol Burnett poultry fishes meat
