David Letterman is the best late-night talk show host right now, hands down, and has been since he first took the desk. George Lopez More Quotes by George Lopez More Quotes From George Lopez If you had a personal trainer, you would probably eat him. I know that in every fat person, there's a skinny person inside, but you could have all the season's contestants of America's Next Top Model in you. I hope I get reincarnated as your feet. That way, you'd never see my face again... Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have insulted you. Because in my country, cows are sacred. George Lopez sorry feet country Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through! George Lopez presidential humor funny We're Mexican not Mexican't! George Lopez mexican I'm not afraid to take on somebody or say something that somebody will find offensive because unfortunately in comedy, you can't say anything really good without offending somebody. George Lopez offending comedy say-anything When I first heard about Beverly Hills Chihuahua, I thought, no. This, this is ridiculous. And then you read the script and you close the script and you go, "They aren't going to be able to do that with real dogs. How are they going to do that?" You're going to see the strings. But they did. George Lopez beverly-hills real dog George: Why've you had a grudge against your brother for 15 years? Benny: We Lopezes are a proud people... George: You have a birthday lunch at Denny's every month. We're not that proud! George Lopez humor brother funny From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you! George Lopez home war funny Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member. George Lopez gum humor funny As long as you're a tax deduction, you'll always be safe in my house. George Lopez humor funny long If you want a show to succeed, you're going to have to have a certain amount of people watch who are non-black and non-Latino. If you can't cross over, you don't belong on TV. That's not just me saying it. That's just the way it is. George Lopez black over-you people One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair. George Lopez bags humor funny I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants. George Lopez humor funny thinking Life is great and golf has been one of the great parts of it for me. George Lopez life-is-great life-is golf I have dogs in my house and much like teenagers at some point, they leave the parents. Even though they're in the same house, they live independently. I think that's how I live with the Chihuahuas. George Lopez teenager dog thinking I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine. George Lopez imagine race trouble I grew up not having a father. Golf is the father I never had. It taught me honesty and respect and discipline and it taught me to control my temperament. George Lopez honesty golf father It's good to see people not smoking. You get dressed up, and you smoke, and it gets in your clothes. You go, 'What should I wear tonight?' 'I don't know, honey, how about something menthol?' George Lopez clothes smoking people A Dodger uniform just doesn't look good with a cummerbund. George Lopez dodgers uniforms looks Everything we play when we are growing up, is team related. In this game (of golf) you can find all the answers yourself. You don't need to throw the ball in the air and play catch with yourself. You get a bucket of balls and go out there with your clubs, and you hit and learn and you get better. And there's no top. George Lopez growing-up team golf Memories, priceless. Well not really priceless, but there you go! George Lopez priceless wells memories
