Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep. Ambrose Bierce More Quotes by Ambrose Bierce More Quotes From Ambrose Bierce RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . . Ambrose Bierce introducing virtue country Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize. Ambrose Bierce usa littles country Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. Ambrose Bierce cooking bread food Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table. Ambrose Bierce gambling player men Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made. Ambrose Bierce philosopher made thinking A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable. Ambrose Bierce ceremony wedding two Die: To stop sinning suddenly. Ambrose Bierce sinning dies Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead. Ambrose Bierce invisible clairvoyant atheism Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience. Ambrose Bierce owing-a-debt debtors forgetful FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection. Ambrose Bierce enterprising satiety affection Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state. Ambrose Bierce sovereign immigration aliens Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous. Ambrose Bierce obscure rich degrees Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command Ambrose Bierce ceremony celebrate maturity HOG, n. A bird remarkable for the catholicity of its appetite and serving to illustrate that of ours. Among the Mahometans and Jews, the hog is not in favor as an article of diet, but is respected for the delicacy and the melody of its voice. It is chiefly as a songster that the fowl is esteemed; the cage of him in full chorus has been known to draw tears from two persons at once. The scientific name of this dicky-bird is _Porcus Rockefelleri_. Mr. Rockefeller did not discover the hog, but it is considered his by right of resemblance. Ambrose Bierce voice names two VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass. Ambrose Bierce ass vanity fool FOLLY, n. That "gift and faculty divine" whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions and adorns his life. Ambrose Bierce creative men life PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. Ambrose Bierce future practice art The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist. Ambrose Bierce character country people Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness. Ambrose Bierce perspective religious food Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. Ambrose Bierce diplomatic-relations divorce boundaries
