Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you? Groucho Marx More Quotes by Groucho Marx More Quotes From Groucho Marx I'm not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me. Groucho Marx clubs pay people If he's been married for 31 years, he's not the same man. Groucho Marx married men years And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off! Groucho Marx humorous witty funny Do you mind if I don't smoke? Groucho Marx humorous witty funny Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere. Groucho Marx beautiful lying thinking Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world. Groucho Marx precious-stones comedian gold Jail is no place for a young fellow. There's no advancement. Groucho Marx advancement jail inspiration Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees? Groucho Marx daughter humor funny I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip Groucho Marx boat wife inspiration Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor. Groucho Marx dancing drinking beer I hope they bury me near a strait man Groucho Marx inspiration men That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight. Groucho Marx opera alarms eight Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house. Groucho Marx lovely underestimate house Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl. Groucho Marx girl tombstone lying I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue) Groucho Marx humorous new-york funny The Alps are a simple folk, living on a diet of old shoes. And the Lord Alps those who alp themselves. Groucho Marx alps shoes simple I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy Groucho Marx inspiration writing funny Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life Groucho Marx turkeys inspiration two One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. Groucho Marx marriage wife retirement I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member. Groucho Marx clubs lows country