Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door. Phyllis Diller More Quotes by Phyllis Diller More Quotes From Phyllis Diller The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. Phyllis Diller baby inspirational kids ... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular. Phyllis Diller bad-breath breaths ifs My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual. Phyllis Diller kitchen frustration anger I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. Phyllis Diller eighteen behinds years My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes. Phyllis Diller useless husband eye When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate. Phyllis Diller emergencies use beauty Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed. Phyllis Diller argument comedy three I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." Phyllis Diller husband mother son If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all. Phyllis Diller adam apples shapes Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. Phyllis Diller use hair inspirational Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. Phyllis Diller inspirational rooms If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy. Phyllis Diller jeans mercy ifs Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing. Phyllis Diller love-means tennis mean Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run. Phyllis Diller women running children It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core. Phyllis Diller skins beauty inspirational My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me. Phyllis Diller justice inspirational looks I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book; or a friend who's #read one. Phyllis Diller bed believe book I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right. Phyllis Diller wanted I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. Phyllis Diller rams inspirational football Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller stay-strong anger relationship
