Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose. Douglas Adams More Quotes by Douglas Adams More Quotes From Douglas Adams And then, just when you think that you have experienced all the wonders that this world has to offer, you round a peak and suddenly think you're doing the whole thing over again, but this time on drugs. Douglas Adams drugnaturethinking There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind. Douglas Adams storiesmind Bistromathics itself is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding the behavior of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that space was not an absolute but depended on the observer's movement in space, and that time was not an absolute, but depended on the observer's movement in time, so it is now realized that numbers are not absolute, but depend on the observer's movement in restaurants. Douglas Adams mathtimescience Even the evil-looking bird perched on a rod in the bar had stopped screeching out the names and addresses of local contract killers, which was a service it provided for free. Douglas Adams evilnamesbird The idea that Bill Gates (one of the founders of Microsoft) has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he, by peddling second rate technology, led them into it in the first place... Douglas Adams technologyhumorfunny ... The truth of the matter is, that most English people don't know how to make tea anymore either, and most people drink cheap instant coffee instead, which is a pity, and gives Americans the impression that the English are just generally clueless about hot stimulants. Douglas Adams cluelesscoffeepeople Was there a reason behind it? There would be no point in asking Zaphod, he never appeared to have a reason for anything he did at all: he had turned unfathomability into an art form. He attacked everything in life with a mixture of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence and it was often difficult to tell which was which. Douglas Adams geniuswould-beart He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. Douglas Adams afterliferealityreligion You can't possibly be a scientist if you mind people thinking that you're a fool. Douglas Adams sciencepeoplethinking Anything that thinks logically can be fooled by something else that thinks at least as logically as it does. Douglas Adams logicdoethinking In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground. Douglas Adams racistmissingorder The light works," he said, indicating the window, "the gravity works," he said, dropping a pencil on the floor. "Anything else we have to take our chances with. Douglas Adams chancelightwindow I don't go to mythical places with strange men. Douglas Adams strange-manstrangemen And as he drove on, the rainclouds dragged down the sky after him, for, though he did not know it, Rob McKenna was a Rain God. All he knew was that his working days were miserable and he had a succession of lousy holidays. All the clouds knew was that they loved him and wanted to be near him, to cherish him, and to water him. Douglas Adams holidayrainclouds He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. Douglas Adams geniusretirementlife And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before--and thus was the Empire forged. Douglas Adams deedsbravemen One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious. Douglas Adams obvioushabitfound You come to me for advice, but you can't cope with anything you don't recognize. Hmmm. So we'll have to tell you something you already know but make it sound like news, eh Well, business as usual , I suppose. Douglas Adams usualsoundadvice You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.” “Er, five,” said the mattress. “Wrong,” said Marvin. “You see? Douglas Adams intelligentnumbersthinking David Attenborough has said that Bali is the most beautiful place in the world, but he must have been there longer than we were, and seen different bits, because most of what we saw in the couple of days we were there sorting out our travel arrangements was awful. It was just the tourist area, i.e. that part of Bali which has been made almost exactly the same as everywhere else in the world for the sake of people who have come all this way to see Bali. Douglas Adams couplebeautifulpeople
