Zach Galifianakis: Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like...

I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'

Zach Galifianakis

humor wonder funny

I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.

Zach Galifianakis

cute past years

I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.

Zach Galifianakis

quiet-person pilates kind

But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.

Zach Galifianakis

comedy stupid people

I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.

Zach Galifianakis

cynical important culture

I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.

Zach Galifianakis

edginess want thinking

'Baskets' isn't a CBS show. Nothing against that, but this is an off-kilter show on cable that the channel lets you do interesting things. Look, if it works, it works. And if it doesn't, it's just a miniseries.

Zach Galifianakis

baskets looks interesting

When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically.

Zach Galifianakis

roles play fun

I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say "I didn't like 9/11."

Zach Galifianakis

humor kind funny

My comfort zone is press conferences.

Zach Galifianakis

conferences zone comfort

I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.

Zach Galifianakis

law running school

My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I don't really do a character thing in stand-up. It's just a bunch of sentences that are supposed to be funny.

Zach Galifianakis

real bunch character

I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.

Zach Galifianakis

comedic patterns integrity

I'll never forget my grandmother's last words. She said 'What are you doing?'

Zach Galifianakis

grandmother suicide death

The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says "Forever."

Zach Galifianakis

tattoo humor funny

I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell "I have diarrhea" is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.

Zach Galifianakis

humor funny mean

I'm terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me. I'm a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There's nothing you can do except make light of it.

Zach Galifianakis

light baby people

As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.

Zach Galifianakis

hollywood actors thinking

I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.

Zach Galifianakis

lasts goal names

I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.

Zach Galifianakis

monkeys acting want

Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'