Don't you understand how dramatic it is to be a comic? To be a fool, to get people to laugh at this show-off? Milton Berle could take Laurence Olivier and stick him under the table if he wanted to. And so could I. Jerry Lewis More Quotes by Jerry Lewis More Quotes From Jerry Lewis You might as well like yourself; just think about all the time you're gonna have to spend with you. Jerry Lewis like-you might thinking If you think childlike, you'll stay young. If you keep your energy going, and do everything with a little flair, you're gunna stay young. But most people do things without energy, and they atrophy their mind as well as their body. You have to think young, you have to laugh a lot, and you have to have good feelings for everyone in the world, because if you don't, it's going to come inside, your own poison, and it's over. Jerry Lewis laughing people thinking For those who understand, no explaination is needed...For those who don't, none will do. Jerry Lewis needed People say, "How would you like to be remembered?" I don't want to be remembered. Gimme a break. What I want is to hear what's great about me now. Let me hear it! In the box you don't hear these eulogies. Jerry Lewis eulogy want people When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you. Jerry Lewis fathers-day dad zoos I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already. Jerry Lewis personal-feelings comedy feelings I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can't get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That's in friendship, that's a deal, that's a commitment. Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life. Jerry Lewis loyalty running commitment I've had great success being a total idiot. Jerry Lewis hilarious idiot success It'll keep you alive for another 10 years if you get yourself a laugh once a day: either provoke it, or look around in the wildest laboratory in the world, the public. Jerry Lewis laughing looks years I don't want to be remembered. I want the nice words when I can hear them. Jerry Lewis remembered nice want Comedy is a man in trouble. And without it, there's no humor. Jerry Lewis comedy trouble men Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands. Jerry Lewis dream witty funny I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope. Jerry Lewis selfish hope kids The doc told me I had a dual personality. Then he lays an 82 dollar bill on me, so I give him 41 bucks and say, 'Get the other 41 bucks from the other guy.' Jerry Lewis guy personality giving You may catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but you'll get them to work harder if you use a flyswatter. Jerry Lewis hard-work use may The day you're born, you get the pink slip on YOU. Outright ownership. You must only share that life with those that you and only you choose. Jerry Lewis ownership born share I get paid for what most kids get punished for. Jerry Lewis paid kids A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world. Jerry Lewis machines baby thinking People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius. Jerry Lewis hate hatred people Adrenaline is wonderful. It covers pain. It covers dementia. It covers everything. Jerry Lewis adrenaline pain wonderful