Eating cookies that you bake with your grandmother is one of the greatest social steps one must experience in order to grow up into a decent world citizen, in my opinion. Roseanne Barr More Quotes by Roseanne Barr More Quotes From Roseanne Barr Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with. Roseanne Barr space trying believe Eat as much as you'd like. My philosophy has always been that all women desire to be as fat as myself but just have a great fear of doing so. Because they think they won't get any men, but you will. You'll get more men, and better men. Roseanne Barr food philosophy thinking I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job. Roseanne Barr parenting jobs kids My kids were completely out of control, while I was working fifteen hours a day plus weekends. I screamed a lot, something I'm not particularly proud of, but it was that or firearms. Roseanne Barr fifteen weekend kids I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them. Roseanne Barr good-judges judging people Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my god that question and She answered, 'Hey, why not you Roseanne?' Indeed, why not each of us? Roseanne Barr why-not males female I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them. Roseanne Barr want fun people Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error. Roseanne Barr errors able book I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions. Roseanne Barr offers solutions thinking Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to. Roseanne Barr adults want country Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it. Roseanne Barr cosmos simple drinking I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool. Roseanne Barr deals kind reality I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference. Roseanne Barr differences ill sometimes A lot of men are impotent and it's very sad. How many of you are impotent? I see. Can't get your arms up either? Roseanne Barr very-sad arms men I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say 'Fine - how was your lobotomy?' Roseanne Barr lobotomy fine proud There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect. Roseanne Barr mother inspiring people I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful. Roseanne Barr calm peaceful know-how I know how to do anything, I'm a mom. Roseanne Barr family mom funny I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow. Roseanne Barr widows upset divorce Everything that`s written about me has such a negative taint. It just has a life of its own, like an avalanche, and I don`t think there`s anything I can do to stop it. Roseanne Barr avalanches negative thinking