England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'. Emo Philips More Quotes by Emo Philips More Quotes From Emo Philips The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement. Emo Philips programmes turned-down diving I started doing stand-up at the age of 20. This was back in 1976, around the time (coincidence?) that the first comedy clubs were starting. The young comedians of today gasp when I tell them how many shows I did that first year: 500. Five nights a week. Emo Philips comedian night years My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself. Emo Philips I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks. Emo Philips down know love children I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your face.' I said, 'You'll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.' Emo Philips face fight you time