Even a guy like me that's just writing jokes, I have to listen more than I've ever had to listen'cause the gripes is coming so fast and furious. And I'm not dismissive of people's gripes. Might sound like it on stage, but I listen, as a president of a country that's as eclectic as ours.

Dave Chappelle

Categorized in : Politics

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone... you answer it.

Dave Chappelle

phones kids hands

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.

Dave Chappelle

being-true be-true-to-yourself inspirational

Things like racism are institutionalized. You might not know any bigots. You feel like "well I don't hate black people so I'm not a racist," but you benefit from racism. Just by the merit, the color of your skin. The opportunities that you have, you're privileged in ways that you might not even realize because you haven't been deprived of certain things. We need to talk about these things in order for them to change.

Dave Chappelle

hate opportunity order

You know, be able to do something great in your life, you're gonna have to realize your failures. You're gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.

Dave Chappelle

realizing able overcoming

I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?

Dave Chappelle

support self rights

What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P!

Dave Chappelle

fingers faces

Why is Dave Chappelle going to Africa? Why does Mariah Carey make a hundred-million dollar deal and take her clothes off on TRL? A weak person can not get here and talk to you. Ain't no weak people talking to you. So what is happening in Hollywood? Nobody knows! The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. I don't understand this person, so they're crazy. That's bullshit. These people are not crazy, they're strong people. Maybe the environment is a little sick.

Dave Chappelle

clothes crazy strong

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.

Dave Chappelle

lines inspirational way

Constantly take inventory of what's important to you.

Dave Chappelle

whats-important inventory important

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

Dave Chappelle

greatness humor funny

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. "I don't understand this person. So they're crazy." That's bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.

Dave Chappelle

crazy strong funny

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.

Dave Chappelle

chivalry

You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.

Dave Chappelle

comedy funny people

The world can't tell you who you are. You've just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.

Dave Chappelle

who-you-are figures world

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive.

Dave Chappelle

worst-things worst crazy

I don't want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.

Dave Chappelle

swear-to-god korea country

Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.'

Dave Chappelle

black jobs funny

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.

Dave Chappelle

new-york men funny

I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down!

Dave Chappelle

witty funny hands

I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.

Dave Chappelle

my-own enjoy sometimes