Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape. Craig Ferguson More Quotes by Craig Ferguson More Quotes From Craig Ferguson Fat is where comedy is stored. Craig Ferguson fatscomedy After all this time I found that the novel is in fact punk rock. Craig Ferguson punkrocksfacts I found out it is just as hard to make a movie that you are not proud of as it is to make one you love. Craig Ferguson one-you-loveproudpride Sometimes they would just pay me to stay home and not do anything else, which sounds fantastic but doesn't do much for your ego. Its probably a little like getting alimony - the money is nice but has a nasty aftertaste. Craig Ferguson egonicehome Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde is a metaphor for alcoholism. He drinks a potion, becomes a monster. I know exactly how he feels. Craig Ferguson humormonstersfunny Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know Craig Ferguson showsknowslooks Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck. Craig Ferguson lucksecretpeople There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits. Craig Ferguson exciteddaddysuits I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians. Craig Ferguson humorprofoundfunny At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to. Craig Ferguson housewanthome Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. Craig Ferguson smartpeoplethinking I think in our desire to create a better America,we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling. Craig Ferguson yellingcountrythinking Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people. Craig Ferguson upsetdesirepeople Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it? Craig Ferguson pathologycamerassometimes I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars. Craig Ferguson puppetsactorsstars My job is to find the politicians and the presidents and the pompous people who are telling other people how to live, powerful, visible creatures and ... go at them. Craig Ferguson powerfuljobspeople There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin. Craig Ferguson being-thankfulthanksgivingcountry When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English. Craig Ferguson humordoubtfunny I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn't. Craig Ferguson holidayhumorfunny Well, everyone, welcome to Shark Week. Oh that's on CBS and there's been a lot of cutbacks, so it's just Friday night for a couple of minutes. And we don't have any sharks, just an immigrant with a puppet. Hey, but it's a start! Craig Ferguson fridaycouplenight