False hope really makes you cynical. Bill Maher More Quotes by Bill Maher More Quotes From Bill Maher All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex. Bill Maher humorous funny sex Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that. Bill Maher week mushrooms lasts I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again. Bill Maher punishment justice thinking Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't be so much traffic if people like you put down the phone and concentrated on the road... besides I can't talk now, I'm in the car behind you trying to watch a DVD. Bill Maher dvds phones humorous I think girls hate each other, no doesn't always mean no, you have to lie to stay married, women's sports are boring and the Olympics are gay. Bill Maher girl hate sports Americans are desperately, here on the West Coast, buying up and hoarding iodine pills... Isn't it great that in a land that is divided between conservative morons and liberal pussies, somehow we have managed to find a way to pull together and behave like moronic pussies? Bill Maher iodine pussy land Republicans have pounced. They're outraged. They say, 'How dare you lie about caring for the people who got hurt in the war we lied them into?' Bill Maher hurt war lying I think there is a problem, though, with the media gushing over [Obama] too much. I don't think he thinks that he's all that, but the media does. I mean, the coverage after, that I was watching, from MSNBC, I mean these guys were ready to have sex with him.It's embarrassing. Bill Maher mean sex thinking Newt Gingrich...is absolutely for bombing Iran and for lowering gas prices. And I've just to say, you can't be for both. They are diametrically opposed. Bill Maher newts gas iran Obama is huge in the polls these days. His popularity is soaring. Even conservatives are coming around. 30 percent of them now believe Obama deserves a Green Card. Bill Maher green cards believe I think we do sympathize. And a lot of us think a lot of what Snowden did was great, and you're abetting him. But, we also think, well, if we are going to have someone who is going to be the one to take secret materials and disseminate it...why you? You weren't elected to that post. That seems to be what the question always comes down to. Bill Maher snowden secret thinking New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: "We go beyond the headlines." That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, "We land our jets on the runway"! Bill Maher land organization jobs Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school. Bill Maher vacation summer school The President said that Gold told him to invade Iraq. You see that's what happens when you mix New Testament and Old Milwaukee. Bill Maher iraq president gold You know, we do a lot of complaining here in America. And that itself is something they can't do in a lot of other countries. Bill Maher complaining country america The car bomb was fertilizer, gasoline, fireworks and propane tanks...still safer than a Toyota. Bill Maher tanks bombs car Life is not like a box of chocolates unless there's a few turds in the box. Bill Maher turds chocolate life-is Between trying to impeach Bill Clinton, Florida 2000, and the recall in California, I'm beginning to think that Republicans will do anything to win an election-except get the most votes. Bill Maher florida winning thinking The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America would just blunder around the Middle East killing people without all the facts. That doesn't sound like the America I know. Bill Maher sound america people It's going to be Perry, it's going to be Romney...It's sort of a battle for the soul of the Republican Party - and they have no soul, but the space where a soul would be. Bill Maher party space soul
