Fatherhood is helping your children learn English as a foreign language. Bill Cosby More Quotes by Bill Cosby More Quotes From Bill Cosby What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children. Bill Cosby grandmotherinspirationalchildren You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it. Bill Cosby cuttingsuccesscute People will frighten you about a graduation.... They use words you don't hear often: And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices." Bill Cosby graduationmeanpeople While fathers are pleasant figureheads, there is a special bond between children and their mothers. 'Do you help your mother clean up the house?' I asked one girl of seven. 'No,' she sweetly replied, 'I help make the mess.' It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it. Bill Cosby girlmotherjobs You know my father's favorite game? Come here and pull my finger. Bill Cosby fingersgamesfather It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life. Bill Cosby jockeysmalespride If you have no faith, you've lost your battle. Bill Cosby battleifslost For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don't know what's next. Bill Cosby down-andseniorcollege Among the guitarists, Wes Montgomery is fantastic. He's always good to let you know what the art form is all about. It's the same still life that everybody is painting, but in comes Wes Montgomery, and it's right there! Bill Cosby paintingguitarart Gray hair is God's graffiti. Bill Cosby humorgodfunny Our children are angry. The profanity is out in the street. It's on the buses and in the subway. Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening. Bill Cosby listeningtryingchildren I didn't know how serious it is to a female that you lift the lid. Bill Cosby know-howfemaleserious In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a mystery to most fathers and...mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it. Bill Cosby familymotherchildren You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap! Bill Cosby lapskullsfaces You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery. Bill Cosby lightningticketswinning I don't think you can bring the races together by joking about the differences between them. I'd rather talk about the similarities, about what's universal in their experiences. Bill Cosby differencesracethinking Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in). Bill Cosby growing-upfatherchildren Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger. Bill Cosby humormenfunny Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I promise not to touch, pick up, step on, anything that looks interesting. Bill Cosby houserunninginteresting And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl. Bill Cosby miniaturesdentisttoilets
