Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me. Dennis Miller More Quotes by Dennis Miller More Quotes From Dennis Miller That receiver was as wide open as Annabel Chong. Dennis Miller receiver wide football I haven't seen anyone rely on the ground game this much since the battle of Verdun. Dennis Miller battle games football Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester. Dennis Miller agnostic use children Is it just me, or are the 49ers doing an awful lot of ass-patting today? Dennis Miller awful today football At some point you cannot be the kid in the glass bubble in this world. You might've heard throughout your grade school and high school years that it was a safe, nice, warm, fair, feeling place... but it can get brutal when it gets competitive. Especially when you succeed. Watch the detractors come out of the walls at that point. Dennis Miller wall nice school So who's the big red menace nowadays? Cuba. That's it? I'm sorry, but it's hard to whip up any us against them nationalist fervor about a country whose principal export is citizens who can swim. Dennis Miller sorry swim country Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes! Dennis Miller hell player football Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi. Dennis Miller cunninghams hey football But the biggest fake of the year, Paul Begala's last smile Dennis Miller fake politics years If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again. Dennis Miller masturbation impact want A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George. Dennis Miller racing hands looks Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again. Dennis Miller mass-destruction smile kids What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis? Dennis Miller fighting culture world Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was. Dennis Miller no-idea ideas The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. Dennis Miller iraq humorous funny A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods. Dennis Miller woods house want When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele. Dennis Miller revenge character kids I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days later, after they cut the guy's head off, they didn't seem like much. And now, I like to trade them with my friends. Dennis Miller cutting couple sorry Technology is fine. . ., but that popular vision of the future, where you plug somebody in and leave them there and they don't get out and interact with actual flesh-and-blood humans - you know the answer before I say it - that's not good. Dennis Miller visions-of-the-future technology blood Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head. Dennis Miller sticks noses giving