Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe. Natasha Leggero More Quotes by Natasha Leggero More Quotes From Natasha Leggero James Franco, acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing - is there anything you can do? Natasha Leggero photography teaching writing Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you. Natasha Leggero relax humor funny Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash, you don't understand; you throw a fat piece up there, that piece is yours.' I'm like, 'No one thinks you own Costco.' Natasha Leggero cousin humor funny For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them. Natasha Leggero gauges comedian discipline I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the 'Fast and Furious' franchise. Natasha Leggero furious walkers needs Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?' and I'm like 'Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?' Natasha Leggero humor funny thinking Often when you are starting out in comedy, you will find that people will laugh at the things you didn't think were funny. It's important to pay attention also to what people are laughing at when you are just talking in regular conversation. Often that is when you are truly being yourself. Natasha Leggero being-yourself talking thinking College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic. Natasha Leggero humor college funny Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's. Natasha Leggero party humor funny I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, 'Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I'm home?' And my mother said, 'You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.' And I said, 'Yes, but you see, I've reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?' Natasha Leggero mother home funny If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity. Natasha Leggero humor funny jesus Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped? Natasha Leggero humor funny Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine. Natasha Leggero humor funny sex Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. Natasha Leggero funny-love romantic-love love-you It's a human instinct to be known. Natasha Leggero instinct known humans Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet? Natasha Leggero humor giving funny My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe. Natasha Leggero dui baby night The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading. Natasha Leggero humor reading funny I don't see the point of watching men exercise. Natasha Leggero humor exercise funny The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist. Natasha Leggero cry humor funny
