He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it - namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead. Mark Twain sarcasm sarcastic funny Prosperity is the best protector of principle. Mark Twain political principles literature I think we never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead--and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead, and they would be honest so much earlier. Mark Twain honesty death thinking [Patriotism] ...is a word which always commemorates a robbery. There isn't a foot of land in the world which doesn't represent the ousting and re-ousting of a longline of successive "owners" who each in turn, as "patriots" with proud swelling hearts defended it against the next gang of "robbers" who came to steal it and did -- and became swelling-hearted patriots in their turn. Mark Twain land feet heart A policeman in plain clothes is a man; in his uniform he is ten. Clothes and title are the most potent thing, the most formidable influence, in the earth. They move the human race to willing and spontaneous respect for the judge, the general, the admiral, the bishop, the ambassador, the frivolous earl, the idiot duke, the sultan, the king, the emperor. No great title is efficient without clothes to support it. Mark Twain kings men moving Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better. Mark Twain ignorant body knows The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. If the case be otherwise, I beg his pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and call him brother. Mark Twain brother hands travel Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes. Mark Twain felicity marriage tragedy It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. Mark Twain courage integrity inspirational Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. Mark Twain sarcasm party sarcastic In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that. Mark Twain sarcastic real jobs Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt. Mark Twain wall spiritual book It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races. Mark Twain horse wisdom education All war must be just the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity; strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it. Mark Twain politics helping war I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: "Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together. Mark Twain disappointment two years No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies. Mark Twain real truth funny Man is the only slave. And he is the only animal who enslaves. He has always been a slave in one form or another, and has always held other slaves in bondage under him in one way or another. In our day, he is always some man's slave for wages, and does that man's work; and this slave has other slaves under him for minor wages, and they do his work. The higher animals are the only ones who exclusively do their own work and provide their own living. Mark Twain doe animal men The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race. Mark Twain inspiration humility race A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having. Mark Twain sense-of-humor one-thing human-nature Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself. Mark Twain excellent passion abstinence
