Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia. W. C. Fields More Quotes by W. C. Fields More Quotes From W. C. Fields I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night. W. C. Fields drinking food night When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. W. C. Fields lost-everything comedy hope When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer. W. C. Fields lawyer money ifs Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do. W. C. Fields smart clever funny Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol. W. C. Fields hysteria religious drinking I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin. W. C. Fields hollywood ends drinking Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy. W. C. Fields fields drinking thinking I have a poor memory for names; but I seldom remember a face. W. C. Fields humorous memories funny How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart? W. C. Fields cost-of-living race two I can do anything I want to do! W. C. Fields i-can can-do want I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game. W. C. Fields shells united-states games I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything. W. C. Fields knows I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. W. C. Fields drink Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died. W. C. Fields buried my-wife wife Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together! W. C. Fields bars drinking together If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon. W. C. Fields old-hollywood saloons ifs The best thing to break is a contract. W. C. Fields best-things contracts break I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother. W. C. Fields my-own mother I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers. W. C. Fields business race years The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it. W. C. Fields comedian can-do
