Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show. Eoin Colfer More Quotes by Eoin Colfer More Quotes From Eoin Colfer The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask. Eoin Colfer textbooks care answers Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian? Eoin Colfer artemis-fowl chairs doctors Listen to me, convict. I have not traveled all this way to listen to your war stories. So shut your trap before I shut it for you. Commander Julius Root Eoin Colfer roots stories war Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression. Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case? Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My mother, she... Doctor Po: Your mother, yes? Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. Eoin Colfer doctors mother school Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building. Eoin Colfer hollies nsa building Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss? Eoin Colfer tears night two A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder. Eoin Colfer skulls night fall Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on. Eoin Colfer fowl stupid moving If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void. Eoin Colfer void debt null I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders. Eoin Colfer captains order way I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember? Eoin Colfer girly captains crazy I'm not threatening you. I'm just informing you of police procedure. If you continue to obstruct me, I remove the obstruction, in this case you, and proceed to the next command. Eoin Colfer threatening next police I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal. Eoin Colfer planning imagine two He threw his head back and sang, "'I am a centaur, yes, a centaur is what I am.' It's not like you to wax, Artemis" "Foaly is singing," said Holly. "Surely that's illegal? Eoin Colfer centaurs hollies singing Miss me? Bet you did ... so would I. Eoin Colfer miss-me missing People like me, LB, the truly great ones ... we are always alone. Eoin Colfer always-alone like-me people You display inordinate pride for someone who has completed a task which could have been performed by a lesser primate in a shorter time. Eoin Colfer primates tasks pride Holly is alive,' thought Foaly 'My princess lives,'exulted Orion. 'And we're chasing a dragon Eoin Colfer hollies princess dragons Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable. - Foaly Eoin Colfer unstable Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both? Eoin Colfer princess doe morning