How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses. Fran Lebowitz More Quotes by Fran Lebowitz More Quotes From Fran Lebowitz My favorite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper to me softly at two-thirty in the afternoon that if I want to get to Sweden in time to pick up my Nobel Prize for Literature, I had better ring for breakfast. This occurs rather less often than one might wish. Fran Lebowitz stars wish two Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter. Fran Lebowitz easter food funny I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood? Fran Lebowitz smart life children Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters. Fran Lebowitz persons summer winter Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion. Fran Lebowitz opinion healthy looks I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not. Fran Lebowitz doubt foxes weather If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let's Make a Deal. Fran Lebowitz gay-pride influence culture The downfall of most diets is that they restrict your intake of food. Fran Lebowitz downfall diets Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure. Fran Lebowitz hustle dance literature What's so great thing about clothes is that they're artificial - you can lie, you can choose the way you look, which is not true of natural beauty. So if you're naturally beautiful, wear what you want, but that's 01% of people. Most people just aren't good looking enough to wear what they have on. They should change. They should get some slacks and a nice overcoat. Remember when the style was incredibly messy hair? That's great if you're a model. But if you're not a model, you would look better if you washed your hair, because you are not beautiful. Fran Lebowitz nice beautiful lying Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. Fran Lebowitz mom baby children Anti-smoking sentiment has replaced middle-class morality entirely. The smoker has taken the place of the homosexual. Today you hear people say things about smokers that used to be said about homosexuals - they pollute the environment; you don't want them around your children. Fran Lebowitz taken class children One of the big mistakes they made in Europe is that the circumstances in which you most frequently read or hear the word "race" or "racism" in Europe applies to Muslims. Which is not a race. It is a religion. You can convert to this. You cannot convert your race. I could become a Muslim. I could not become a Chinese person or a black person. So they constantly use that in Europe. Fran Lebowitz race mistake europe When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough. Fran Lebowitz new-york funny travel There's also the idea in this country [USA], it's not wholly new, but it's new in its kind of purity, in that you have to be really smart to be really rich. I always say to people, the reason people believe this is a) they've never met a really smart person, and b) they've never met a really rich person. I have met both, and I cannot see the crossover. You do not have to be a genius to get rich. You have to be ruthless to get rich. Fran Lebowitz smart believe country I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté. Fran Lebowitz vets fans young You know, almost everyone is an irritant to me. I think people have forgotten what the word 'public' means. 'Public' means you're going to be irritated. It's a natural consequence of leaving one's home. You go outside, and there are people who are irritating. I'll be standing on the sidewalk, and someone berates me for smoking. I look at the person and think, but what about your shoes? How can you wear shoes like that and have the confidence to accost someone like me? Fran Lebowitz home mean thinking Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. Fran Lebowitz humorous life children Tolerance is really a better thing than understanding. Because it doesn't agitate against human nature. Fran Lebowitz tolerance human-nature understanding Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house. Fran Lebowitz leaving house history
