Humor is a terrific tool for explaining things, especially when what you're explaining is frightening or dull and complicated. P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes From P. J. O'Rourke Mankind has invested more than four million years of evolution in the attempt to avoid physical exertion. Now a group of backward-thinking atavists mounted on foot-powered pairs of Hula-Hoops would have us pumping our legs, gritting our teeth, and searing our lungs as though we were being chased across the Pleistocene savanna by saber-toothed tigers. Think of the hopes, the dreams, the effort, the brilliance, the pure force of will that, over the eons, has gone into the creation of the Cadillac Coupe de Ville. Bicycle riders would have us throw all this on the ash heap of history. P. J. O'Rourke dream inspirational thinking The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders. P. J. O'Rourke borders humor funny I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with. P. J. O'Rourke humorous funny thinking This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans. P. J. O'Rourke humorous funny country Nothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure; its a midlife vocational reassessment. P. J. O'Rourke midlife happens success You can keep the dining room clean by eating in the kitchen. P. J. O'Rourke kitchen dining rooms Journalists aren't supposed to praise things. It's a violation of work rules almost as serious as buying drinks with our own money or absolving the CIA of something. P. J. O'Rourke buying serious funny Personally, I believe a rocking hammock, a good cigar, and a tall gin-and-tonic is the way to save the planet. P. J. O'Rourke hammocks believe way I'm a rather decisive type. P. J. O'Rourke type The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise. P. J. O'Rourke government goal adventure I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting. P. J. O'Rourke fun art interesting Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them. P. J. O'Rourke lessons islands littles People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans. P. J. O'Rourke anger america people There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list. P. J. O'Rourke climate lists phrases People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it's simply a measurement. P. J. O'Rourke philosophy people thinking You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective. P. J. O'Rourke poverty perspective cities Politicians are wonderful people as longa as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. P. J. O'Rourke politician wonderful people The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can't do, shouldn't do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known. P. J. O'Rourke teaching forever long Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort. P. J. O'Rourke politics done rights One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places in the Middle East - is that the capacity for self-governance and self-organizing just isn't there. It has to do with history. P. J. O'Rourke middle-east self world
