I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married. Mike Birbiglia More Quotes by Mike Birbiglia More Quotes From Mike Birbiglia I feel like people have more in common than the news reports. People getting along doesn't sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing. I don't even talk about it on stage, because it would take too long to explain. I'd have to spend an hour on it to get people to understand what I'm saying because it's so instantly polarizing. Because cable news has kind of set up a construct where you're for or against something immediately. So if I said something about it, people would be for or against me immediately. And I don't want that. Mike Birbiglia depressinglongpeople You can always tell who went to catholic school, because they're atheists. Mike Birbiglia sarcasticreligiouseducation Our fear leads us to say no all the time. Mike Birbiglia There is no such thing as #1 in art. Mike Birbiglia art I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace. Which I think is fine, cause if we didn't make 30% more, you guys would marry each other. Mike Birbiglia humormenfunny Failure's hard. There's no way around. Bombing on stage never feels great. You feel judged, you feel alone. But then when your performance works, it's transcendent. Mike Birbiglia judged I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to power a cell? One. Because mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. Not ready for prime time, that one. Mike Birbiglia humorfunnythinking I feel like we can prove in real time the old trope that comedy is tragedy plus time. Mike Birbiglia comedytragedyreal I will say what I aspire to is a consistency in making films, to direct something every couple of years. Mike Birbiglia consistencycoupleyears I've been selfish over the years, and other people who have made it have too, but I can only speak for myself. Mike Birbiglia selfishpeopleyears Eugene Mirman is the Andy Warhol of comedy. People look to him for what's next in comedy, and he emails these people back promptly. The Will to Whatevs put me in a great mood because I was laughing out loud. Alone. That's hard to do. Mike Birbiglia emaillaughingpeople You've got to remember that improvisers are writers and actors and directors all simultaneously. That's what's happening in real time because you're writing on your feet, and you are acting out the words and you are directing what the staging is. You're deciding what staging is. Mike Birbiglia realfeetwriting I didn't realize how good I was with computers until I met my parents. Mike Birbiglia computerrealizingparent I drank the Kool-Aid of being a network star. Once it didn't happen, I realized it wasn't the best version of my comedy. Mike Birbiglia aidscomedystars Sometimes when my fans come up to me, they think it's going to be entertaining, like I'm going to tell jokes or do bits, and then instead of that I end up talking about really mundane things with my fans, and then they're kind of like, "This is boring. I want to go talk to somebody else." I think I bore my fans to death by over-talking to them. Mike Birbiglia fanstalkingthinking I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear. Mike Birbiglia divorcerejectionfeels I think the reason why I'm so alluring to networks is because on the surface I'm like a quintessential relatable, boring white guy. A great many sitcoms have been anchored by a boring white guy, so I feel like what they want to mine from me are my more generic qualities. Mike Birbiglia guywhitethinking I just don't give off a great first impression. Mike Birbiglia first-impressiongivingfirsts Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself. Mike Birbiglia fork-in-the-roadcomedianpeople Sometimes when I do a joke and it doesn't get a lot of laughs, it kind of feels like I'm doing jazz. That's kinda cool because jazz is cool, but sometimes jazz sucks ... Maybe I'm the Kenny G of comedy. Mike Birbiglia humorlaughingfunny
