I always thought I'd be a father. Seth Meyers More Quotes by Seth Meyers More Quotes From Seth Meyers I'm not trying to create a straight up news show. I want you to watch' The Daily Show' because it's going to tell you what's happening in the world and also because it's going to help you laugh, because if you're not laughing at what's going on right now, you will go crazy. Seth Meyers top-news Today was national color day. Seth Meyers top-news Oh my god, it’s real, it has to be. Why would you ask the FBI director to investigate a pee tape if you knew for a fact that pee tape definitely did n’t exist ? Seth Meyers entertainment I really wanted a brother for Axel Strahl because I was so lucky to have one. Seth Meyers latest-headlines Harvey Weinstein isn’t here tonight because, well, I’ve heard rumors he’s crazy and difficult to work with, don’t worry because he’ll be back in 20 years when he becomes the first person ever booed during the In Memoriam. Seth Meyers entertainment We definitely believe that you don’t care. Seth Meyers latest-headlines You’re by far our most checked-out president. Seth Meyers latest-headlines That is horrifying, she’s wearing Army gear because it’s a USO tour, but honestly, who could blame women if they started wearingmilitarygear whenever they’re around men ? ‘ Where are you going in a helmet and a flak jacket ? ’ ‘ The subway. ’. Seth Meyers entertainment I have great doubts he will ever come on our show, paul Ryan will go on any show if he can talk about health care and tax cuts, but I think he knows that if he came on our show, we want to ask about the behavior of the president, and I don't think he has any thirst to answer those questions. Seth Meyers entertainment I think it's good that there are people approaching it different ways, for the shows that are less political, I don't think they just sit there all day with their feet up waiting for taping time to roll around. I think they're working just as hard as we are. Seth Meyers entertainment I just have volumes of praise for all these people who started working on our show without this expectation that the show would turn into this thing. Seth Meyers entertainment It was so weird to have that moment of, 'Wow, it went bad in six hours,'. Seth Meyers entertainment I think in the end that girl's problem isn't anything more than her mother doesn't know what three-year-olds like to do on a Saturday. ' Let's go watch a senator talk.' I hope she got ice cream on the way there and the way home. Seth Meyers politics I'm strictly a sugar-free Red Bull guy. I'd rather enjoy my sugar intake elsewhere. Seth Meyers sugarredenjoyguy It's nice to have an elephant in the room. There's nothing more helpful than something everybody's thinking about. Seth Meyers elephantnothingnicethinking I love cheese plates. Though I actually hate cheese plates. Because I can't say no to them. Seth Meyers saycheesehatelove Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy. Seth Meyers likeyoufunnypast I want people to know my political point of view. There's an appetite for that, almost an expectation. I also want to make people laugh, but I wouldn't want to do it at the expense of my point of view. Seth Meyers laughviewpoliticalpeople I don't know what else to do other than tell people what I think to be untruths. Seth Meyers tellthinkknowpeople The nice thing about anger is that, as an emotion, it's strong enough to unplug me from the comedian's mind for a minute and just be a frustrated member of the citizenry. Seth Meyers meangerstrongmind
