I couldn't recommend more that people put themselves in a situation where they can see a lot of work that they admire, and for free. Mike Birbiglia More Quotes by Mike Birbiglia More Quotes From Mike Birbiglia People getting along doesn't sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing. I don't even talk about it on stage, because it would take too long to explain. Mike Birbiglia depressing long people Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife. Mike Birbiglia humor funny two I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, "Do you guys hate me?" Mike Birbiglia hate humor funny Starbucks is the last public space with chairs. It's a shower for homeless people. And it's a place you can write all day. The baristas don't glare at you. They don't even look at you. Mike Birbiglia day look you people After I perform 'My Girlfriend's Boyfriend,' it takes a lot out of me emotionally; and, at the end of it, I feel like I know the audience and the audience knows me. It's this weird unspoken bond that we'll kind of always have with each other. Mike Birbiglia bond weird feel me I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in a while, you get those flashback memories of conversations you had with your exes, and you just, like, wince when you're walking down the street. Something occurs to you, 'Oh, no, I said that.' Mike Birbiglia you walking relationship memories I was completely unqualified to get into Harvard. But then I went to my interview for Harvard, and the woman asked, 'Why do you want to go here?' And I took out all of my comedy writing samples that I had done. I couldn't have been more delusional in terms of what I thought they wanted in a candidate for college. Mike Birbiglia woman you comedy college Pain is funnier than love. Mike Birbiglia funnier than pain love I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding. Mike Birbiglia pizza wedding family love It sounds so nerdy and pathetic, but what I always do on Sunday afternoon is bring my inbox down to zero, which is so sad. But e-mail has become like homework for adults. I'll have 141 messages from people who will be offended if I don't write back. Mike Birbiglia down sad sunday people Directing a movie is a little bit like being back in student government and putting on the homecoming dance. You're like, 'You put up the streamers, and you hire the DJ, and you get the punch bowl.' Some people are just like, 'This dance sucks.' And you're like, 'No no, this dance is awesome!' You have to be really positive. Mike Birbiglia you dance positive people If you're asked something on a movie set and you say 'I don't know,' you lose confidence in every department. What you need to say is 'I'll have that for you in five minutes.' Mike Birbiglia lose know you confidence Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I just wanted to say, 'Well, I'm just going to take this conversation we're having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that's the joke. You're the joke later.' Mike Birbiglia me you conversation funny I always have the best story at the party. Anyone telling a story at a party is like, 'No, no, you've got to listen to my story!' I'm like, 'Step aside, everybody. I'm going to blow the doors off this place.' Mike Birbiglia step place best you I am diagnosed with what's called 'REM behavior disorder.' As far as the disorder goes, there's no cure, but it's going pretty well as far as these things go. I see a sleep doctor, take medication, etc. Mike Birbiglia doctor i-am behavior sleep I'm generally so disoriented during the week about what I'm doing and where I am - I travel a lot - that when I'm home on a Sunday, I typically try to sleep in as much as I can. Mike Birbiglia i-am home sleep travel When I was in college, I wanted to write for 'Late Night With Conan O'Brien,' and I was an intern there. Mike Birbiglia write late college night The economy of film forces you to make choices. Mike Birbiglia you economy film choices It used to be that if you got on 'The Tonight Show,' your career was made. Now, if you're on 'The Tonight Show,' maybe 14 more people show up to your gig in Tulsa. Mike Birbiglia your career you people I'm a comedian, and the other comedians are played by comedians, the same way that in 'Once' there are the musicians that hang out together. Mike Birbiglia musicians same together way
