I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy advers... by Eoin Colfer

I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!

Eoin Colfer

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Categorized in : Mother Dad Funny But True

Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you..." ... "What is it?" [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible. "Yeah," agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. "Why am I an imbecile?

hollies stupid thinking

Artemis: How long will it take you to prepare the time spell? N1 chewed his knuckle: About as long as it takes you to take your clothes off. "Aaarrk," Artemis half choked.

clothes half long

We lost the crickets," she said. "Even you can't make that sound tough." ..."I am Butler," he said with a straight-face. "Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.

lakes sound faces

Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemi... by Eoin Colfer

Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.

hollies fowl said

Anything can be real. Every imaginable thing is happening somewhere along the dimensional axis. These things happen a billion times over with exactly the same outcome and no one learns anything. Whatever a person can think, imagine, wish for, or believe has already come to pass. Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers.

real dream believe

Control puberty?" snorted the bodyguard."If you manage that, you'... by Eoin Colfer

Control puberty?" snorted the bodyguard."If you manage that, you'll be the first.

puberty bodyguard firsts

Chief of security : They have a tank! How did they get a tank up... by Eoin Colfer

Chief of security : They have a tank! How did they get a tank up here?

chiefs tanks security

My truffles? You took them? That's just mean! by Eoin Colfer

My truffles? You took them? That's just mean!

Anything else, Butler?" "The cosh, sir. by Eoin Colfer

Anything else, Butler?" "The cosh, sir.

We lost the crickets. by Eoin Colfer

We lost the crickets.

The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.

heritage men past

Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.

fowl doctors thinking

How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.

sarcasm girl june

When I went to school, I was already reading and writing. In fact, I was offended that the other kids couldn't.

reading writing school

What many people don't know about 'Peter Pan' is that it's a very violent book and Hook is one of the most finely observed villains ever.

hook book people

I have always loved 'Stig of the Dump.' I think reading that book made me officially realise that I was a reader.

reading book thinking

I am perhaps unusual in that I came to 'Doctor Who' through the numerous novelisations and not through the television show.

unusual doctors television

Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?

insulted-him girl looks

There’s always time for babbling. by Eoin Colfer

There’s always time for babbling.

'Insanity... I like it." by Eoin Colfer

'Insanity... I like it."