I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.' Daniel Tosh More Quotes by Daniel Tosh More Quotes From Daniel Tosh You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb! Daniel Tosh bully bombs shut-up How come New York gets all the cool plane crashes? Daniel Tosh planes crash new-york I'm not honest, but you're interesting! Daniel Tosh not-honest honest interesting I started my own foundation. If you aren't familiar with it, it's called 'Febreezing the homeless.' Who would you rather give money to: a man that smells 4like liquiid garbage, or ocean breeze? Daniel Tosh ocean men funny Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans. Daniel Tosh boxers matter white I wasn't a pain in the ass when I was a kid. So I think being a screw-up as an adult is way more acceptable. Daniel Tosh pain kids thinking God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system. Daniel Tosh gay hate people Finding my dog's g spot is taking way longer than I would care to admit. Daniel Tosh care dog way My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he sent me to a girls school. Daniel Tosh girl education father High school is just like glee, a bunch of people dying of drug overdose. Daniel Tosh drug people school I fell asleep watching the country music channel and woke up racist. Daniel Tosh racist country Making a good music video isn't easy. If it were, MTV would still be showing them instead of '16 and Pregnant,' which I assume is shot exclusively in Utah. Daniel Tosh mtv video utah I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit. Daniel Tosh racist trying funny Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you? Daniel Tosh second-chance ifs perfect You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can. Daniel Tosh princess daughter years I feel bad sometimes because I secretly hope New Orleans gets nailed again. Daniel Tosh new-orleans feels sometimes The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog. Daniel Tosh cat dog world Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting; freshmen 15 is not a life sentence. Daniel Tosh freshman bigs beautiful Never trust anyone who buttons their top button. Daniel Tosh never-trust-anyone buttons never-trust I'm actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man around the house. Daniel Tosh gay humor funny
