I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid. Drew Carey More Quotes by Drew Carey More Quotes From Drew Carey Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours. Drew Carey design keys goal Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar. Drew Carey sarcastic jobs funny You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke. Drew Carey bourbon tomatoes coke Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do. Drew Carey drinking beer funny I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter. Drew Carey mom funny father Listen, you don't know any better so I'll just tell you. You can't try to save money by not having the right beer. You know, you can skip having medical insurance, you can buy everything you own at a swap meet but the right beer is what makes living like this possible. Drew Carey medical-insurance beer trying Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there. Drew Carey vegas want america I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself. Drew Carey overcoming sorry feelings I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to write jokes at the library, and that, in turn, launched my comedy career. Drew Carey teenager writing book I'm not a good lover, but at least I'm fast. Drew Carey good-love good-lovers lovers Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label. Drew Carey libertarian labels years Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better. Drew Carey work-harder competition people If frogs could fly... well we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat? Drew Carey neat frogs miracle I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' Drew Carey halloween mirrors thinking What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously. Drew Carey shows helping As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed. Drew Carey government goal retirement At 'Price Is Right,' people feel so safe there and loved. And if you can't jump around on 'Price is Right,' then you can't jump around anywhere, you know? Drew Carey safe feels people Welcome to 'Who's Line Is It Anyway' the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are just like Canada. Drew Carey lines humorous funny Reality shows always look for the worst people. Drew Carey reality people looks When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games. Drew Carey games soccer travel
