I don't need anybody, I'm successful in life enough to buy myself a f'ing sandwich. Carlos Mencia More Quotes by Carlos Mencia More Quotes From Carlos Mencia People live in a place called Tornado Alley - and they're surprised when they get hit by a tornado. I'm sorry when they get hit by tornadoes, but when you live in Tornado Alley you can't really claim surprise. Carlos Mencia yousurprisesorrypeople The really funny thing is that most all of my friends who are priests have seen me perform, and they say, 'I wish I could talk the way you do on stage. I wish I could reveal truth to my congregation the way you do.' Carlos Mencia meyoutruthfunny I'm afraid of being poor; I'm afraid of living in the projects... I'm afraid of being thought as unsuccessful. Carlos Mencia thoughtbeinglivingpoor I'm not good looking, but I'm not bad looking. Carlos Mencia lookingbadgood I have 11 sisters and 6 brothers. Carlos Mencia brotherssisters The beauty of comedy is, when people come to a comedy club, there is a certain veil of reality suspended. Carlos Mencia comedybeautyrealitypeople When I was a kid, I was in love with one of the 'Charlie's Angels.' I told my dad, 'I'm going to marry somebody like Cheryl Ladd.' My dad said, 'You're not that good-looking, mijo. You're going to have to make a lot of money if that's what you want.' I went, 'Well, I want that, so I'm going to make money.' Carlos Mencia youdadmoneylove I'm like most people in America. I'm conservative on some things, and I'm liberal on other things. Carlos Mencia thingslikeamericapeople If I've got a black joke, and I can't tell it in Oakland, then I shouldn't tell the joke anywhere else. Carlos Mencia jokegottellblack I don't think Latino; I think like me. If that happens to be Latino, then I guess that's me. But it doesn't affect my comedy in any way. Carlos Mencia thinkmecomedyway People that love me, love me. But the people that hate me really hate me. Carlos Mencia mehatelovepeople It's not hard to lose weight. Carlos Mencia losehardweight When the comedy community turned on me, I had a lot of reflecting to do. Carlos Mencia lotmecomedycommunity The fact that so many comics were waiting to jump on the bandwagon of hate toward me - what is it about me that engages this kind of behavior? I began to see it: My cockiness, my lack of hanging out with other comics. A lot of that wasn't my fault. Carlos Mencia mehatebehaviorwaiting We don't grow as human beings from good things happening. We grow from failures. Carlos Mencia growthingsgoodgood-things You know what, I stopped doing 'Mind of Mencia' because it got hard, and there was a lot of fighting, and it was just time to move on. Carlos Mencia youfightingmindtime The United States of America on our worst day is better than any other country on their best day. Period. End of story. Carlos Mencia endbetterbestday I have been recording every single one of my shows since 1994. Every single joke I've ever done is on a hard drive. I can tell you when I wrote every joke I wrote. I can tell you the first time I said it, when I made it different, when I made it better. Carlos Mencia drivebetteryoutime At the end of the day, my career is not going to be judged by one or two or three moments in time. It'll be judged by the longevity of it. Carlos Mencia end-of-the-dayenddaytime When you have a TV show, and you're selling out 10,000 seats or whatever the hell it is, it's not that it becomes easy. It's just that's what your life is like. Carlos Mencia youhelleasylife
