I don't see evidence of America being a poorer country than it was 20 years ago. I've seen impoverished devastation. I've seen places where things had been good and now they were very bad. P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes From P. J. O'Rourke Writing this book required an enormous amount of help from friends. To them goes the credit. I'll take the money. P. J. O'Rourke readingfunnybook Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper. P. J. O'Rourke patternsfamilylove Smoking cigarettes seems to alarm peace activists much more than voting for Reagan does. P. J. O'Rourke votingsmokingpeace Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do. P. J. O'Rourke leftmenbelieve There's no telling what might have happened to our defense budget if Saddam Hussein hadn't invaded Kuwait that August and set everyone gearing up for World War II. Can we count on Saddam Hussein to come along every year and resolve our defense-policy debates? Given the history of the Middle East, it's possible. P. J. O'Rourke augustwaryears The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the smallest corners of life - this much we can stand. But the real problem is that government is boring. We could cure or mitigate the other ills Washington visits on us if we could only bring ourselves to pay attention to Washington itself. But we cannot. P. J. O'Rourke governmentrealstupid Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime. P. J. O'Rourke babyfunnychildren The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting. P. J. O'Rourke loving-yougriefdeath Imagine if all of life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza. Every pair of pants, even those in a Brooks Brothers suit, would be stone-washed denim. Celebrity diet and exercise books would be the only thing on the shelves at the library. And - since women are a majority of the population - we'd all be married to Mel Gibson. P. J. O'Rourke brotherlifebook When politics are used to allocate resources, the resources all end up being allocated to politics. P. J. O'Rourke libertarianlibertypolitical The Tenth Commandment sends a message to socialists, to egalitarians, to people obsessed with fairness, to American presidential candidates in the year 2000 - to everyone who believes that wealth should be redistributed. And that message is clear and concise: Go to Hell. P. J. O'Rourke believeamericayears This country was founded by religious nuts with guns. P. J. O'Rourke gunreligiouscountry The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all but showed signs of formidable ugliness by birth - pickle-jar chin, mainsail ears and a nose like a trigonometry problem. What's more, she had the deep frown and snit wrinkles that come from a lifetime of bad character. P. J. O'Rourke wrinklessarcasticcharacter The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am such a chicken. P. J. O'Rourke ducksguaranteeswar Long conversations with pals when neither you nor they have had a drink can be a test of palship. P. J. O'Rourke communicationhumorfunny I didn't see any NRA officials killing babies in Waco. P. J. O'Rourke killinggunbaby In case we have to shoot Democrats. It happened during the Civil War, and it could happen again. P. J. O'Rourke casesgunwar Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year. P. J. O'Rourke thanksgivingthankfulnessyears God has no role to play in politics except to make sure politicians go where they belong. To hell. P. J. O'Rourke rolespoliticalplay The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some. P. J. O'Rourke insultingpoliticalwant
