I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands. George Burns More Quotes by George Burns More Quotes From George Burns I should have been a country-western singer. After all, I'm older than most western countries. George Burns singers should-have country Everyday happiness means you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot. George Burns home happiness mean What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen. George Burns actresses once-upon-a-time today If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again. George Burns ifs enough long I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like. George Burns show-business shows If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it. George Burns humorous smoking funny My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine; I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town. George Burns plot play ideas I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. George Burns dying done believe I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money. George Burns too-much humor funny In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life. George Burns guy people thinking It's one of the old show business axioms. No matter how successful you've been, there's always a younger and sexier seal coming along. George Burns shows matter success None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way. George Burns humorous mother funny Life's but a day at most. George Burns life Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was. George Burns humorous funny sex How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything. George Burns sick funny If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it. George Burns cigar sleep firsts I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. George Burns humor smoking funny I smoke cigars because at my age if I don't have something to hang on to I might fall down. George Burns age might fall Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'A wise man and his money are soon parted'? And another thing, how does a fool get money in the first place? I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and I won't tell them. George Burns wise talking men Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town. George Burns towns caring joy
