I get in fewer arguments when I'm alone. Paula Poundstone More Quotes by Paula Poundstone More Quotes From Paula Poundstone I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. Paula Poundstone bags three funny I'm the only person I know of who's ever been pulled over for attempted speeding. Paula Poundstone speeding persons knows I confess that when I first read that smog is particularly hazardous to children, senior citizens, and physically active people, for a brief moment I thought, “I’m in the clear for at least 10 more years.” Paula Poundstone senior children years I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going. Paula Poundstone vision memories I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon. Paula Poundstone groups needs thinking I don't like sex ... I'm a single working mom with nine cats, a dog-shark, a lizard, and a bunny. I don't go to bed, I pass out. The idea that I'd get to my bed and there'd be someone in there with whom I was supposed to have an activity is horrifying to me. Paula Poundstone mom dog sex The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep. Paula Poundstone definitions want sleep You know, in politics when you come in third, it's a win. Paula Poundstone thirds knows winning The position of First Lady has no rules, just precedent, so its evolution has been at a virtual standstill for years. If Martha Washington didn't do it, then no one is sure it should be done. Paula Poundstone done example years I made mistakes and I broke the law and I'm more than willing to pay a price for that. But there's a price beyond that that my children have paid, and that's not what was supposed to happen. Paula Poundstone law mistake children Gay Republicans, how exactly does that work? 'We disapprove of our own lifestyle. We beat ourselves up in parking lots. Paula Poundstone republican gay doe I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge. Paula Poundstone dieting weight exercise I like to work on New Year's Eve. It has a nice spirit; a nice feel about it. If you are all about the 'year-end' thing at all, then laughing with fellow human beings is a great way to start the new year. Paula Poundstone new-year nice years Speaking of happy successes, after years of struggling to lose those few extra pounds every mother puts on during adoption, particularly when the doctor orders bed rest, in 2004 I sent my assistant to the Gap in dark glasses with a fake ID to purchase my first pair of Easy Fit jeans. Paula Poundstone struggle mother dark I was court-ordered to Alcoholics Anonymous on television. Pretty much blows the hell out of the second A, wouldn't you say? Paula Poundstone hell blow television I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off. Paula Poundstone land talking world I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California. Paula Poundstone alaska taught-us california What moron said that knowledge is power? Knowledge is power only if it doesn't depress you so much that it leaves you in an immobile heap at the end of your bed. Paula Poundstone knowledge-is-power depressing bed I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it. Paula Poundstone gambling horse want The mistakes that I made I made because I drank too much. I don't think that's going to happen any more. Am I going to make mistakes as a parent? Sadly, every day. I'm looking around for the perfect parent and I haven't seen one yet. Paula Poundstone perfect-parents mistake thinking
