I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them. Emo Philips More Quotes by Emo Philips More Quotes From Emo Philips The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement. Emo Philips programmes turned-down diving I started doing stand-up at the age of 20. This was back in 1976, around the time (coincidence?) that the first comedy clubs were starting. The young comedians of today gasp when I tell them how many shows I did that first year: 500. Five nights a week. Emo Philips comedian night years My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself. Emo Philips I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks. Emo Philips down know love children I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your face.' I said, 'You'll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.' Emo Philips face fight you time
