I have a very healthy growth of both head and facial hair. People always want to attribute further superhuman powers to me. It's funny the way the audience really seems to want me, Nick the actor, to exhibit the same machismo as Ron Swanson. Nick Offerman More Quotes by Nick Offerman More Quotes From Nick Offerman I always call performing live "giving the people the medicine," because when you're engaged in it, you can feel the sort of soul magic being exchanged between the performer and the audience. Nick Offerman medicine giving people I feel it's important to point out that I've earned my humility by being a jackass - like, I trip and fall on my face and say, "Oh, right. Don't think you're a big shot, because you've got a bloody nose now." So it's hard to say. Nick Offerman humility fall thinking The ultimate disguise is nothing. Nudity. Nick Offerman disguise nudity ultimate I always drastically changed my look for each role. It's gotten a little tedious in real life, also, because there's no hiding. Nick Offerman roles real looks When I was a kid, I lived in this small town way out in the country. We had three TV channels and one radio station. I couldn't even get my hands on good comic books. My aunt, who is a librarian, gave me Tolkien's "The Lord of the Rings," Laura Ingalls Wilder's "Little House on the Prairie," and Lewis's "The Chronicles of Narnia." They were such incredible treasures to have in my somewhat mundane country life. Nick Offerman country kids book The key, I would say to any fledgling humorist starting out, is to make sure that sloppiness is part of your recipe. That way they come to expect fumbling and clumsiness and they say, "Oh, it must be a charming part of his personality." Nick Offerman sloppiness keys personality No one will ever ask me to sing because it's beautiful. My secret is hiding my musicianship behind humor. Nick Offerman hiding secret beautiful I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist. Nick Offerman writing laughing men The first thing I do, after I talk with the director and we agree that I'm going to do the role... My jumping off point is I get a picture of what my 'look' will be. My wardrobe style, my facial hair, glasses and all that kind of stuff. Nick Offerman agree style kind I learned in my early years in the theater that I would never become the guy on top. I'll never create a show; I don't have a brain expansive enough to see the whole picture, in a way that would behoove anyone. Nick Offerman guy brain years Whenever I have a stubborn position on something, I take a deep breath and swallow myself. Nick Offerman take-a-deep-breath position stubborn I've never seen a theater community to rival that of Chicago. Neither New York nor L.A. has the raw talent or integrity that Chicago theater has, and I think it's because Chicago doesn't have Broadway or the film and TV business to distract it. Nick Offerman new-york integrity thinking You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time. And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and wait for your agent to call you, or you can go learn how to build a Shaker blanket chest with hand-cut dovetails. Nick Offerman cutting waiting hands If you like comedy, go home and curl up with Leviticus. The writers of The Onion are handed Leviticus on their first day. Nick Offerman onions curls home My career is inexplicable to me. So far I've just been not getting fired despite being myself. Nick Offerman inexplicable being-myself careers If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza. I love a slice when I'm in NYC, but it's like eating a Slim Jim compared with a filet mignon. One slice of Gino's East stuffed sausage pizza is a bigger meal than an entire New York pie. Nick Offerman nyc pie new-york I first read Wendell Berry's short-story collections, "Fidelity" and then "Watch with Me." They just knocked my socks off. The characters and the fellowship of the small town reminded me of my own small town in Illinois.Then I discovered that, much like J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, that all of Berry's fiction was centered in this same town. Nick Offerman illinois character watches Damn it all, you have been given a life on this beautiful planet! Get off your ass and do something! Nick Offerman ass given beautiful I keep having these bros come up to me and say, "I used to watch you when I was a fetus," and I just want to kill them. Nick Offerman fetus want watches I really thought that I'd be doing Shakespeare, honest to God. I did not foresee the whole action television thing. That was God's joke. Nick Offerman honest action television