I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it. Carol Burnett More Quotes by Carol Burnett More Quotes From Carol Burnett Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk? Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. Carol Burnett healthyover-youbaby Comedy = tragedy + time. Carol Burnett comedytragedy But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh. Carol Burnett noseslaughingpeople Because nobody goes through life without a scar. Carol Burnett scarinspirelife I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me. Carol Burnett girlmommother I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned. Carol Burnett adversitywork-outwrestling The audience is never wrong. Carol Burnett audiencetelevision I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that. Carol Burnett writingideasmoving I liked myself better when I wasnt me. Carol Burnett I think we're here for each other. Carol Burnett lifethinking I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. Carol Burnett jokesmy-soulsoul Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. Carol Burnett pimplesteenageinspirational The first time someone said, 'What are your measurements?' I answered, '37, 24, 38 - but not necessarily in that order.' Carol Burnett measurementfunnyorder I don't remember a time when I wasn't waiting for a scab either to grow or to fall off my knee. Carol Burnett kneeswaitingfall I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances. Carol Burnett bergdorf-goodmanguncircumstances People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows. Carol Burnett dinnerwomenpeople I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love. Carol Burnett first-lovewritingfirsts I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that. Carol Burnett ablememoriespeople I always preferred working with somebody so I could look into their eyeballs and play tennis. Carol Burnett tennisplaylooks Daddy, when he drank, just became sweeter. There wasn't a mean thought in his body. I've always said he was like a drunk Jimmy Stewart. Carol Burnett daddydrunkmean
