I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it? Bob Hope More Quotes by Bob Hope More Quotes From Bob Hope The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. Bob Hope dieting good-friend weight-loss No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties Bob Hope party witty two I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful. Bob Hope laughter caring funny I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected. Bob Hope political-jokes jokes political With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films. Bob Hope silent-films language today I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. Bob Hope inspirational life funny I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money. Bob Hope money funny america My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that? Bob Hope xmas holiday christmas When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness. Bob Hope laughter happiness inspirational A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. Bob Hope hilarious sarcastic funny I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them. Bob Hope american-politics jokes president I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die. I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny. Bob Hope veterans-day husband brother I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap. Bob Hope age naps birthday I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything. Bob Hope government done people Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens. Bob Hope hope golf funny I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage. Bob Hope luggage funny-travel flying You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope happy-birthday humorous funny Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support? Bob Hope support complaining america I can still chase women, only downhill Bob Hope i-can stills The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off. Bob Hope pissed-off news jesus
