I have this fantasy of relaxing and doing nothing. But I'm obviously very passionate about stand-up comedy. I mean, I keep doing it. So I must be really into it. Ali Wong More Quotes by Ali Wong More Quotes From Ali Wong At the Chateau Marmont, he pitched a couple of things that made it in. Like wearing glasses that had no lens, and the part in the game night scene where he lists all of these Chinese dignitaries, that was all his idea. And when he says,' I don't have a problem, Sasha. What's your problem ?' and starts air-fighting. It's hard to describe just how shockingly funny he is. Ali Wong top-news We were like,' Who's a dude that would be Marcus' worst nightmare for Sasha to start dating once he realizes he's been in love with her his entire life ? Like, an iconic Asian man. Keanu Reeves ','. Ali Wong top-news My husband and I went to Japan for our honeymoon, and you look at, like, the presentation of the food, and it's ridiculous. It looks like a Mondrian painting or something. Everything looks like a bunch of little Hello Kitty erasers when you eat a little bento box in Japan. It's so precise and beautiful and processed and neat. Ali Wong look you food beautiful Comedy has so much to do with honesty, and women can be more open about their emotions. Ali Wong emotions women comedy honesty Whenever I feel mom-guilt, or I feel pressure to be a better mom - to cook salmon on a bed of quinoa for my kids - I just think to myself, 'I... have... suffered... enough.' And then I feel fine about feeding my toddler a bag of chips for dinner. Ali Wong feel myself dinner mom Nothing is off-limits. There's just some things I cannot crack. Politics I can't do. When I start to talk about it, I just get really angry and super sincere. I have never found a way to craft all of that absurdity into funny. Ali Wong angry politics funny way Making people laugh was the only thing I ever truly excelled at. But at home, I was so quiet with my family, which taught me to be really observant. Ali Wong me family home people In Hue, Vietnam, we had savory rice pancakes with crumbled shrimp and pork rinds. I've still never had a version as good. Ali Wong never good vietnam rice With my husband, I do really appreciate the fact that we - even though we're different kinds of Asian, there is a cultural shorthand between us, and I don't have to explain anything. I've dated guys before who weren't Asian-American, and it frustrated me when I would have to defend why beans belong in a dessert. Ali Wong me dessert appreciate husband To be a trophy wife, you have to be a trophy. I am more of a commemorative plaque. Ali Wong trophy i-am you wife Having a two-year-old is very hard. I feel like I'm in a relationship with an emotionally unstable woman who is also physically abusive and never gets in trouble for it. Ali Wong woman feel never relationship When you're a mom, you need sparkle to compensate for the light inside of you that has died. Ali Wong you sparkle mom light I'll tell you how I balance family and career. I have a nanny. Ali Wong career you balance family I really loved being pregnant, especially because people treat you so nice. Ali Wong treat loved you people I tried being a stay-at-home mom for eight weeks. I like the stay-at-home part. Not too crazy about the mom aspect. Ali Wong being like crazy mom I love being a mom and having two kids. But I've had two C-sections, and I have suffered enough. That's my favourite mantra when it comes to motherhood. Ali Wong motherhood mom enough love I think feminism is the worst thing that ever happened to women. Our job used to be no job. We had it so good! Ali Wong job good think women I constantly peed in my pants up until the 8th grade and wore an extra-large sailor uniform from kindergarten to 8th grade because my mom was scared I'd grow out of it. So I learned to make fun of myself at school and summer camp. Ali Wong grow myself mom school The biggest downside of L.A. is the traffic and parking tickets. They turn me into Michael Douglas in 'Falling Down.' Ali Wong falling down me traffic I liked that improv and sketch comedy were collaborative, but you really depended on other people and a stage to perform. With stand-up comedy, I liked that you had no one else to blame and depend on. Ali Wong sketch you blame people