I just think of myself as a comedian, really. Sarah Silverman More Quotes by Sarah Silverman More Quotes From Sarah Silverman I don't wanna be labeled as straight or labeled as gay. I just want people to look at me and see me as white. Sarah Silverman gay white funny She, uh, came out of the closet recently, my niece. Um... She announced to the family that she's a lesbian and... She's seven, did I mention that? And, uh, I don't even know if she knows what a lesbian is, but I support her completely. And, uh... I'll tell you what's heartbreaking. My sister punished her for it. Can you believe that? No pussy for a week. Which to us may not sound like... But when you're seven, you know, a week is a long time. Sarah Silverman niece funny believe In your twenties, I think you should have all of the sex that you're inclined to have, as long as you're safe about it. Use condoms and everything. Go with your instincts. This is the time to have a lot of sex and do drugs. But make sure you live through it. Sarah Silverman should-have sex thinking If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get cah-azy pussy. All the pussy. I don't mean literally. That might not be your cup of tea. I don't know what your version of 'all the pussy' is. But you'll get all the pussy. Sarah Silverman pussy tea mean I've never had an abortion. And I don't know if I would. But, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't fight to the death for women to make their own choices for their own human bodies. Sarah Silverman fighting choices mean Some things are just for private. It's like people thinking I'm cold or this or that. It's unfortunate, but I don't need strangers to know that I'm warm. I don't need strangers to know the real me. Sarah Silverman real people thinking Why would I become involved with something that doesn't include everyone? If you're getting married today, it's the equivalent of joining a country club that doesn't allow blacks or Jews. Sarah Silverman joining clubs country I'll tell you why we make fun of midgets: We're not afraid of them. Sarah Silverman comedy humor funny I have no religion, but I can't escape being extremely Jewish ethnically - that is, culturally. In other words, I'm not religious, but I worry and I'm neurotic. And I'm very good with Sarah Silverman very-good religious worry That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive. Sarah Silverman offensive comedy The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17. Sarah Silverman comedy summer firsts You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage. Sarah Silverman comic comedy thinking Anything television trivia I'm good at. But when you're on your couch, you're really good at it, but when you're standing there, it's probably scary. Sarah Silverman trivia scary television I do know that I can take a punch. I've been punched in the face three times. That's, I think, a really important thing to know about yourself. It helps you in life. It helps you be brave when you know you can take a punch. I'm a lover, not a fighter. But, God bless me, I can take a punch. Sarah Silverman important brave thinking I think fake boobs have done great things for real boobs. I think people finally appreciate real boobs. People like real boobs. I do. I also enjoy the fact that they are life-nourishers. Sarah Silverman real people thinking I'm doing stuff on Kaballah and Scientology and a little bit more racial stuff, for good measure. Sarah Silverman scientology stuff littles I learned pretty early is I never defend my material; it's for other people to if someone is offended. It's so subjective, and if you don't find it funny, it's definitely going to be offensive. Sarah Silverman offensive materials people I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by; that's one freedom I have. Sarah Silverman offended i-can needs I remember the horror story that I told myself over and over again. I'm totally alone in my body. I'm totally alone in my head and nobody will ever see through my eyes. I'm just completely alone. Sarah Silverman horror-stories body eye I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff. Sarah Silverman political clever heart
